Chapter 8 The Importance of Saying No
1. Why saying no is important? Have you had a hard time of turning down someone’s request( for example, you wanted to say no, but what came out of your mouth was yes, and next day you kicked yourself for saying yes) ? Please include a personal story.
The act of choosing a value for yourself requires rejecting alternative values. So rejection actually makes our relationships better and our emotional lives healthier.
For example, a friend of mine likes go shopping for luxury brands and she always asks me to go shopping with her. It’s hard for me to reject her, so I went with her once. But I can’t appreciate the skyrocketing price with the moderate style clothes. From than on, I directly reject her.
2. Why Saint Petersburg was one of the Mark’s favorite trips?
Because the author learned the value that was totally different from that in America: to express your feeling to somebody frankly.
3. Why commitment gives you freedom?
Commitment gives you freedom because you’re no longer distracted by the unimportant and frivolous. Commitment gives you freedom because it hones your attention and focus, directing them toward what is most efficient at making you healthy and happy. Because commitment allows you to focus intently on a few highly important goals and achieve a greater degree of success than you otherwise would.
4. How to build trust?
Without conflict, there can be no trust. Conflict can tell us who is with us unconditionally and who is there for the benefits.
感想
看完今天这一章，我首先想到的就是Less is more.现在的我们有太多选择，看起来是自由了，反而无所适从。因为我们想什么都去尝试，可从什么都没有做到有深度。今天刚好听到《东吴同学会》的一期节目叫“沉浸的幸福”里面谈到了富春山居图的作者黄公望，50岁才开始学画，80岁开始画富春山居图，84岁完成。从开始学画起，他每天都静静的坐着仔细的看着一草一木，山川河流。然后默默作画。一心一意沉浸在自己热爱的事业上是会产生一种让人赶到幸福的心流的。而东看看西看看就像是把河流四处截断去灌溉农田，最终让河流断流。只有将这些节流砍断，河流才能顺流直下。
今天Eric推荐的关于拒绝的视频也让我很受启发，我就是很怕遭到拒绝的人。所以很多时候犹犹豫豫不开口不行动。这个时候问问拒绝你的人why试试，也许并不是你想象的各种恐惧的结果。
Pursuing a breadth of experience denies us the opportunity to experience the rewards of depth of experience.
1.hone
Commitment gives you freedom because it hones your attention and focus, directing them toward what is most efficient at making you healthy and happy.
. to improve your skill at doing something, especially when you are already very good at it: 打磨....技能
造句：Her son is honing his piano playing skill..
2.rub somebody up the wrong way
There’s a bluntness to Russian culture that generally rubs Westerners the wrong way.
(informal )to annoy someone by the things you say or do, usually without intending to
造句：His ruthlessness rub us up the wrong way.
3.repercussion
The ability to say whatever I thought or felt, without fear of repercussion. a bad effect that something has, usually lasting for a long time serious long-term economic repercussions.
不良影响 同义： consequences, backlash, result, side effects
repercussion for ：The collapse of the company had repercussions for the whole industry.
repercussion on： There were serious repercussions on his career.
repercussion of ：the repercussions of the crisis political/social/economic etc repercussions
造句：The air pollution had repercussions for human's health.
4.hash out
If two people who are close are not able to hash out their differences openly and vocally, then the relationship is based on manipulation and misrepresentation, and it will slowly become toxic.
（informal）to discuss something very thoroughly and carefully, especially until you reach an agreement:
造句： The company‘s plan was hashed out .
5.forfeit
Basically, the more options we’re given, the less satisfied we become with whatever we choose, because we’re aware of all the other options we’re potentially forfeiting.
to lose a right, position, possession etc or have it taken away from you because you have broken a law or rule:
同义： be deprived of, be stripped of, give up, relinquish, renounce, say goodbye to, surrender
造句：He forfeited freedom because he was in breach of the law.
