How to deal with acquaintances
prepare 3 questions for a party or occasion 要见不太熟的人的时提前准备几个问题，以免冷场的状况发生
问do you married？尴尬，如果某人想结婚而又没有结婚，问这个问题就会put sb on a terrible spot 用What's been going on with the family.替换。
How is your kids?
类似的还有What's been going on with the project.
Bring me up-to-date....
It’s up to us to assume the burden, keep on digging. How is your holiday? What is your most favourite....
如何让聊天继续
The best way to show your sincere is to keep digging.但是也不要太过，像居委会大妈一样把隐私全都问了。
怎样一直聊呢？比如：
How is your vacation, Dave?- Good
继续问what do you do there? How is the food？
How was your day, Sandy?
what kind of things you have to do today?
问具体做了什么，而不是只描述感受
Free information (we can use it to start a conversation or keep a conversation going.)
four sources
1.从别人的对话的描述中得到信息
那个地方怎么样？
听到生病或家里人过世等不好的消息怎么办
I‘m sorry to hear that you .... are you all right now? what's it like to be...
2.看到一些物品，比如奖杯,特殊意义的衣服
3. behaviour
1）accent What 's it like in your home town?
foreign accent:what brought you here?what do you missed most about home?what do you like most about being here?
2）left handed
occasion and location
参加同一个场合，比如聚会...what brought here？（你为什么来）我来这 the party，
funeral: What's it like for you?
I have nothing to lose. Look what I have gained.就是主动说了一句话，作者就得到了一个好的伙伴。就算人家没有搭理我我也不损失什么啊，主动一步可能就有更多收获。有想到《被讨厌的勇气》里说的，做好自己，对方的反应是无法控制的。
It's up to us to take the risk and assume the burden to include others.
Listening
1.visual listening
listen to people with your eyes.
nod
body language
2. let them know you are listening to them
what do you mean by that?
tell me more..
along that same line, do you think
what proof do you have of that
oh really I see what you mean
give me an example of what you mean by that
what the big picture here? what would you hope
what happed first/ next?
What's the downside/up side
3.restate the specifics
you say ... this this, so ....重复他人说过的内容，问他是这样吗？
mentaling
conversation killers
9种讨厌的人
其他语言点：let's get down to business
put sb on a awkward condition
if somebody is not married, but they wish they were.
书还没看，听的演讲，应该是把主要的内容都囊括了。争取用零散时间翻一下书再来写总结。
我觉得首先是自己的心态要放开，不要怕，要敢于主动打破僵局。这也是我最欠缺的。下次碰到这种情况就对自己说；I have nothing to lose！
其次要是真诚的聊天，用心倾听。
最后才是一些套路。比如说你好的时候，带上对方的名字。问一些需要具体描述而不是一两个字就能回答的问题。一来一回中让聊天继续。
