《小王子》因为行文简洁、优美,同时又富含哲思,被称为成年人的童话。在看了根据其节选部分拍的电影——《狐狸与我》后,我突然领悟到,原来,人与人之间的关系,其本质,都可以用“相互驯养”来概括。
我们先来读读这一段吧,原文很优美,中文翻译也可以算得上是“信、达、雅”,绝对值得反复读,仔细想:
“Come and play with me,”proposed the little prince.“I am so unhappy.”
“和我一起玩吧,”小王子向狐狸建议,“我苦恼极了。”
“I cannot play with you,” the fox said. “I am not tamed.”
“我不能和你玩,”狐狸说,“我还没有被你驯养呢。”
“Ah! Please excuse me,” said the little prince. But, after some thought, he added: “What does that mean—‘tame’?”
“啊!对不起,”小王子说道。但是他思索了一会儿,又说:“‘驯养’是什么意思?”
“It is an act too often neglected,” said the fox.“It means to establish ties .”
“它是经常被人们遗忘的一种行为,”狐狸答道,“它的意思是‘建立联系’。”
“To establish ties?”
“建立联系?”
“Just that,” said the fox. “To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you, I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world...”
“当然了,”狐狸说道,“对我来说,你与其他成千上万个小男孩没什么区别。我不需要你,你也不需要我。对你来说,我与其他成千上万只狐狸毫无差别。但是,如果你驯服了我,我们就谁也离不开谁了。那时候,对我来说,在这个世界上你就是独一无二的。而对你而言,我也是这个世界上独一无二的……”
“What must I do, to tame you?” asked the little prince.
“驯养你,那我应该怎么做呢?”小王子问道。
“You must be very patient,” replied the fox. “First you will sit down at a little distance from me—like that—in the grass. I shall look at you out of the corner of my eye, and you will say nothing. Words are the source of misunderstandings. But you will sit a little closer to me, every day...”
“你必须很耐心,”狐狸答道,“首先,你坐在草地上,离我有一些距离——就像这样。我偷偷地用眼角观察你,你什么也别说。言语是误会的根源。但是,你每天都可以坐得离我更近一些……”
The next day the little prince came back.
第二天,小王子又来了。
“It would have been better to come back at the same hour,” said the fox. “If, for example, you come at four o’clock in the afternoon, then at three o’clock I shall begin to be happy. I shall feel happier and happier as the hour advances. At four o’clock, I shall already be worrying and jumping about. I shall show you how happy I am! But if you come at just any time, I shall never know at what hour my heart is to be ready to greet you... One must observe the proper rites... ”
“你最好每天都在同一个时刻过来,”狐狸说道,“比如说你下午四点来,那我从三点开始就会感到快乐。离四点越近,我就会越来越快乐。四点一到,我就会坐立不安。我会让你看到我究竟有多快乐!但是如果你来的时间不固定,我就不知道该什么时候开始准备迎接你……我们应该遵循正确的仪式……”
“What is a rite?” asked the little prince.
“什么是仪式?”小王子问道。
“Those also are actions too often neglected,” said the fox. “They are what make one day different from other days, one hour from other hours. There is a rite, for example, among my hunters. Every Thursday they dance with the village girls. So Thursday is a wonderful day for me! I can take a walk as far as the vineyards. But if the hunters danced at just any time, every day would be like every other day, and I should never have any vacation at all.”
“这也是经常被人遗忘的行为,”狐狸说,“所谓仪式,就是使某一天不同于其他日子,使某一时刻不同于其他时刻。比如说,捉我的那些猎人们就有一个仪式。每逢周四,他们都和村里的姑娘们跳舞。因此,周四成为了一个多么美妙的日子啊!我可以外出散步,直到葡萄园边上。如果猎人们随便什么时候都跳舞,每天都如此,那我也就没有休息的时候了。”
就这样,小王子驯服了狐狸。
让我试着总结一下人与人之间的本质关系。
总结一:
驯养关系的本质:爱与责任。
总结二:
如何建立驯养关系:1.充满耐心;2.多用实际行动,逐步释放善意;3.一点点拉近距离,建立信任感;4.用仪式创建强联系;5.将这份关系刻在心上。
总结三:
用心灵建立起来的联系或许更像是爱情,但亲情、友情的建立又何尝不是如此,人与人之间的关系,没有哪一个不是爱与责任的内化。
总结四:
为人父母的要注意了,如何建立良性的亲子关系,请牢记第一点:充满耐心;努力实践第二点:言传不如身教(Words are the source of misunderstandings);还要重视第三点:一点一点拉近距离(不要因为你是父母就想当然的认为你们是最亲近的关系)。否则,父母子女缘分一场,“只不过意为着,你和他的缘分就是今生今世不断地在目送他的背影渐行渐远,你站立在小路的这一边,看着他逐渐消失在小路转弯的地方,而且,他用背影告诉你:不必追。”
没能建立相互驯养的关系,再亲近的关系也会越走越远,可悲可叹!
总结五:
对于企业管理者来说,与下属之间同样是相互驯养的关系,《孙子兵法》讲:“视卒如婴儿,故可与之赴深溪;视卒如爱子,故可与之俱死。”爱与责任,才能建立上下级之间亲厚的关系,才有可能真正的做到“上下同欲”,做到:“百将一心,三军同力,人人欲战,则所向无前矣。”
最后,再来温习一遍纯真而又温暖的驯养关系:
狐狸对小王子说:“如果你驯服了我,我的生命就会充满阳光……我不吃面包,麦子对我本没有意义,麦田更不会让我产生联想,可一旦你驯服了我,一切都改变了,因为你有金色的头发,再看到麦田我就会想起你,而且我还会喜欢倾听风吹麦浪的声音……”