I originally planned to put these two dreams together with the ghosts. However, that post was becoming unbearably long, so I decided these two could have their own post. It was difficult to come up with a title, in both dreams I was somehow kept captivated, not knowing where I am, and more importantly not really sure what is my kidnapper. Hence the title, what exactly are they?

So the first dream occurred around 5 years ago. I was living in the girls-only dormitory back in China, my room was on the ground floor, and the tiny bed was above my writing desk. I could not recall the beginning, but it was cold and wet, the ground was damp, and everything was dark, like they were all painted with black filth. But I could not smell anything, just the humidity and the coldness. I was wearing something like a pillow case, like what Dobby was wearing when he worked for the Malfoys, stained yellow with dirt. I wasn't alone, there were others, other girls, all dressed in the same way, chained by the feet one after another, our hands were chained together as well. We walked in silence as the metal chain clanked with each step. I thought we were walking in a field as I could see grassland and bushes, and the muddy pathway led us to a pile of construction which looked very much like a dungeon. I walked down the staircase with the other girls, it was slippery, everything was covered with ceramic tiles, the wall, the floor and the stairs. I couldn't see the original colour of the tiles as they, too, were covered with black filth, but I thought it must be white, as I could see a blurring version of my own reflection. That was when I realised I was completely bald. There was no hair on my head, and I used to have thick, long black hair, it was gone. I was wondering who shaved me when my feet reached the bottom of the stairs, and from here, everything is black. I was unchained by someone, someone bald as well. I could not make out his face, but it was definitely a he, and he had a very slim and tall body. He chained me to the wall of a cellar, which was barred with iron bars. The cellar was bigger than I had hopped, my arms were stretched out horizontally to the extremes against the wall, and chained to it at my wrists. My legs were on the ground, kneeling. I rested my head on my right arm as I leant back against the wall, I was tired from all the walking. Then, he entered. He was naked from the waist up, and he was very white and thin, so pale and almost transparent that I decided he could not be human. I didn't have the energy to stare at him, so I rested my head on my arm again, waiting for whatever he planned to do. I think he actually gave me some water at first, before reaching out to touch me. His touch was soft and gentle, so soft that he was barely touching me, and it was fucking erotic. So I was chained in a filthy dungeon, with my knees kneeling on the ground, my hair was shaved by the man who was touching me erotically. He started with the scalp, down the neck to the collarbones and the shoulders, then on the back down the spine until the tailbone, before reaching the final destination. I remembered shuddering at every touch, every movement he made towards me, he was kissing my ear, blowing to it when he pushed me to my high point. And I woke up, in the middle of a cold winter night, shuddering from whatever it was, and sweating like hell. I could never quite forget this dream, because at many points of it, I was seeing the scene from above, like I was seeing myself being chained with the other girls walking in a field, I could see my feet walking down the staircases, I was watching myself being touched by the man while I was also feeling all of it. It was probably the only dream where I was experiencing the story from an omniscient third person point of view.

The second one was less clear though it happened more recently, another sign for my aging and failing memory. I was sleeping in a hotel room in Beijing, with my boyfriend. In the dream, I was a princess living in a castle (I know I am a bit old to have a dream of being a princess...), I was bored with the daily routine, and started to read a picture story book on my phone. It was a very old phone, with a small screen and very low resolution, it was probably the first generation of colourful screen. I was lying with my head on my boyfriend's lap, reading the story on my phone. I couldn't remember anything about the story, only that at the end, I was a little worried that something bad would happen, but I quickly throwed the thought away as I wasn't on my own. However, as I scrolled to the last page of the story, I was somehow sucked into the screen of my phone. I ended up in a part of a mansion or a very large apartment, it was rather colourful, with brick coloured wall, and yellow doors, the floor was wooden, all seemed quite nice except those who stood in front of me. I don't know how to describe them, they varied a bit in size, and I can only remember one of them clearly. He was massive, a rather small head compared to his body with no hair at all, he looked grey and bloated, there was no neck or it was probably covered with fat, he had chubby fingers and hands which are pinkish white on the inside. He had tiny beady black eyes, a small and flat nose, and a very big mouth. He started to explain to me the rule of the game. So I was trapped in this apartment with another girl, and the goal was to escape as quickly as possible. The apartment was full of tricks and danger so it was more like a dangerous maze, we could also be attacked by the trolls (I think they look a bit like the trolls...) who would have no mercy to hit us and end our lives. I was a little confused at the start of the game and the other girl was very kind and try to encourage me to run. We decided to stick together in order to increase our rate of survival. I could not remember the first few rooms we went in, I only recall that one of them was probably a kitchen with a gate leading to the tunnel used to drop trash. And when we opened the door, I stepped in first only to be dragged back by the other girl who shouted 'Be careful!'. Apparently, there was a board on the floor right in front of me, beneath it was a springer which would throw anything stepping on the board across the room towards the gate leading to the garbage tunnel. I realised I needed to be more careful if I would like to stay alive. Upon entering the next room, the troll who gave the introduction was right there waiting for us, he said he was not going to let us pass, and we were ready for a fight. Fighting a troll had proven to be much more difficult than I have ever imagined. We tried to hit him which didn't do anything at all, and he managed to knock off the other girl with only one swoosh of his big fat fist. I got mad, the girl had just saved my life, and the troll just knocked her off. I hit him again with all the strength I had, and when that didn't work, I grabbed a pan next to me to hit him again on the head. That was when I woke up and saw my boyfriend staring confusingly at me. Apparently, my first fist hit him and woke him up, he had no idea what had happened and decided to wake me up, which was very wise of him, as I was planning to strike again...

It is rather unusual for me to dream about monsters or unknown creatures. Most of the time I dream of human and the real world with a little twist, like the magical realism literature I like. It is also interesting to see how brave and fearless I am in my dreams, they remind me that I have immense strength within me, and I only need to summon them when I am feeling insecure or anxious, they are always there and they will never leave.