我所不知道的love：
第一章降到自律的重要性，那么自律背后是什么呢？是什么让我们的自律行为如此持久，作者认为是爱，看完一节我就不淡定了，原来我们经常说的爱还包含这么多内容：
Discipline is the means of human spiritual evolution, and love lies in back of discipline-what provides the motive, the energy for discipline.
爱的定义：
the definition of love is: the will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth.
所谓的爱，就是要滋养自己或对方精神成长的意愿。
comments:
为避免歧义，作者又做了如下阐述：
1.it may be noticed that it is a teleological definition; the behavior is defined in terms of the goal or purpose it seems to serve - in any case, spiritual growth. I arrived at is through observation in my clinical practice of psychiatry, in which the definition of love is a matter of considerable import.
what seems to love is often not love at all. one of the major distinguishing features between the two seemed to be the conscious or unconscious purpose in the mind of the lover or nonlover.
定义容易落入目的学范畴，但作者对爱的定义源于对病人的临床观察，源于大量的输入内容。我们平常司空见惯的所谓的爱并非真正意义上的爱，区别在于有意识还是无意识的行为。
2. love is a strangely circular process. the act of loving is an act of self-evolution even when the purpose of the act is someone else's growth.
爱是自我升华
3. the unitary definition of love includes self-love with love for the other. self-love and love of others go hand in hand and they are indistinguishable.
爱自己和爱他人是相辅相成的，但我们现实中往往出现的是，要么是只爱自己，要么是在爱的过程中迷失了自己。
4. the act of extending one's limits implies effort. love is effortful.
爱是付出和努力
5. love is as love does. love is an act of will, both an intention and an action. will also implies choice. we do not have to love. we choose to love.
爱即爱本身！
