Suppose you have the chance to talk to yourself on the first day when you join Toastmasters Club. What will you say?
"Don't be president of the club. Don't be the coach and don't be the DvD.
My humble suggestion: if someone comes to you and looks into your eyes sincerely "I see something in you." Be careful. Don't answer it!! It will be your side hustle without payment."
I joined TMC because I am a social phobia. I was a terrible player in empathy for others' emotions and understanding the feelings of the people I communicate with. It leads to some troubles for me. Bad relationship with my parents. Missing the opportunity for promotion in work.
So I become the VPM in my club when I first time join it, cause they told me you will communicate with different strangers who visit the club, students, parents and wage slaves like me. I joined the meeting every week and chat with the visitors on WeChat, in person and on the stage, like what am doing now. At the end of my officer journey, I only hired 3 members, but I made friends with over 20 new visitors.
These experiences give me to change my job and became a teacher.
Being a teacher was also challenging for a social phobia. The first time when I enter the room and introduced myself. "Hi, my name is Namii and will be the coordinator of our class."
The same silence at the beginning as tonight. The only difference is my students give me warm applause. And then I start my presentation.
I was really lucky cause my class is quite different from other classes.
These grew up in a really bad situation: poverty, single parent, and lack of educational resources. Some of them haven't seen their parents during their childhood. And one of the students has been sponsored by the village committee. The tuition fee was paid by the whole village, like each family donate 100 yuan to him and then he got the chance to study here.
I am really lucky and have no experience like them before. I have grown up in a happy family. My parents cared about me the most and they even pay me for studying abroad. And I am also a quick learner.
It was so hard for me to empathize with their learning experience.
It was really challenging at the beginning. My students were really active in the class. Answer my questions every time even most of the time. They took extra time to do practice questions. The answer is wrong. They also told me they are sorry. They are bad students and they are not good at learning.
I started to watch the videos they posted on TikTok and tried to mention them as the materials in the case study.
And I try to talk to them during the break and listen to their personal stories. Just like, what I have done as a VPM.
At the end of the semester, this class was highly evaluated by all other teachers. Last year, I have already left the college, but I received a message from my previous students.
"Dear Laoshi, thank you for encouraging me and reshaping my life. Happy Teacher's Day!"
These messages made me realise, it is not a presentation any more. It was the communication between me and my students.
The social phobia problem still troubles me now even though I have been a Toastmasters member for three years. But I think I have successfully found the key to communication.
The key to communication is connection. How to build a connection? Caring, listening and giving.
It is the key to communication, as well as the key to people's hearts.
