只有在关系中，我的真实面目才能呈现出来。关系是一面镜子，让我看清自己的真面目。但多数人并不喜欢自己的真面目，所以我们开始修炼，修炼有为法或无为法，改造镜子中的形象。换言之，在关系中、在关系活动中，我发现了某种东西，我不喜欢，所以开始改造它，修正令人不喜的形象。当我渴望改变自己的真实面目，这意味着我已经在心里另设了一个理想形象；一旦心里预设了一个理想面目作范式，我就不能洞察到自己的真实面目。也就是说，一旦内心描绘出自己的梦幻形象：我应修炼成这般面目，千万别变成那副嘴脸，并以此为标准来改造自己，那么就肯定不能在关系明镜中认清自己的真面目了。
我认为，明白这一点是非常重要的，因为恰恰多数人在这里迷失了。在关系中的某些特定时刻，我们根本不想看清自己的真面目。如果我们只是一门心思改造真实的自我，那么就不能理解自我、看清真相。
——克里希那穆提《生命书：365观心日课》（The Book of Life: Daily Meditations with Krishnamurti）
Relationship Is a Mirror
Surely, only in relationship the process of what I am unfolds, does it not? Relationship is a mirror in which I see myself as I am; but as most of us do not like what we are, we begin to discipline, either positively or negatively, what we perceive in the mirror of relationship. That is, I discover something in relationship, in the action of relationship, and I do not like it. So, I begin to modify what I do not like, what I perceive as being unpleasant. I want to change it—which means I already have a pattern of what I should be. The moment there is a pattern of what I should be, there is no comprehension of what I am. The moment I have a picture of what I want to be, or what I should be, or what I ought not to be—a standard according to which I want to change myself—then, surely, there is no comprehension of what I am at the moment of relationship.
I think it is really important to understand this, for I think this is where most of us go astray. We do not want to know what we actually are at a given moment in relationship. If we are concerned merely with self-improvement, there is no comprehension of ourselves, of what is.
MARCH 15
