20180124-chapter5-读书笔记

1. Q&A

1. What does"you are always choosing" mean? Can u define it and give an example?

It means that u r always choosing how u interpret what happens to u, as well as how to respond even though u cannot choose what happens to u. For example, u are knocked out in the English speaking contest. You can choose to be self-pitying and decadent, or u can chooose to introspect about the reasons for your failure and improve yourself.

2. What's the point of telling William James's story?

It is told to tell us that we r responsible for Everything in our lives, no matter the external circumstances, and u can always choose how to interpret and respond to what happens to us.

3. Any responsibility problems u had with your boyfriend or parents? If any, please tell us your story.

I have some responsibility problems with my parents. In my eyes, they r never a loving couple. I mean it's easy for they to fall out and throw abusive Words against each other for some really trivial stuff. I can still recall they fighted with spatula or broom in their hands when I was little, awful childhood memory for me. As I grow older, violence is gradually replaced by complaint and oral fight. Everytime I'm at home, what I worry most is that they may get into another stifling quarrel. I used to quarrel with them for their quarrels, which turned out to make three of us fools. Of course it is not my fault(maybe it is, Because if it was not me, they would have divorced long ago and led a happy life, who knows), yet I am responsible for their unhappy life, since i am part of the family. I made several attempts to change their one-sided views toward each other and see the sparkling points of each other. They never succeeded. If anything does change, it is me. I think I will never cry for their fractured relationship anymore. Now i just take it as it is yet still try to harmonize the atmosphere. At all, they are my parents.

2. 感悟

This is the realization that we, individually, r responsible for Everything in our lives, no matter the external circumstances.

我们每个人都应当了解,自己都要为自己生活中发生的一切负责,不论外界环境如何。也许命运会选择我们,可是是我们自己选择了自己的人生。我们无时无刻不在选择如何诠释身边发生的一切,如何应对它们。并没有人应该或能够对你的人生负责,也许有人让你痛苦有人给你快乐,最终还是自己要为生活负责。


A person can get dealt terrible cards and beat someone who was dealt great cards.

一手烂牌的人可能会赢了一手好牌的人。这里的card就如同我们生活中无法选择不受控制的事情。terrible card就像天生有缺陷,被车撞,又遗传病,great card就像天生丽质,家庭背景好。但过的好的可能反倒是那些一手烂牌的人,这里的过的好不是用房子票子来衡量的,而是自我价值的实现。有的人好像啥都不缺可是他们很空虚,并不快乐。有的人要为生活奔波,可是他们觉得很幸福,生活充满希望。


People get addicted to feeling offended all the time Because it gives them a high, being self-righteous and morally superior feels good.

人们对‘感到冒犯’上瘾,因为这让他们很爽,他们自以为是,把自己放在道德的制高点,还为此感觉良好。

自己也有这样的问题,当别人否定我的想法时,马上会觉得好生气,想要理论一番的气势都上来了。这真的是非常愚蠢,究其根本是因为我把being right当作了自己的价值,然后我的metric都以我的价值为基础,但being right是一个bad value,别人对我提出质疑是对我有好处的,我可以认真聆听别人的观点,然后再好好思考我的观点是不是有问题,这样可能让我的观点变得更好或帮我摈弃错误的看法。

3. Words&Phrases

……with all of your closest family and friends cheering u on at the finish line.

cheer sb on: to support and encourage sb


his work has been translated into a bazillian languages.

无数的。a bazillion times=umpteen times


If u fuck up, u r on the hook for making it right.

be responsible for

He is on the hook for the unpaid bill.


In hindsight, i was able to look back and see warning signs of my ex-girlfriend's character

understand sth when u look back on it

in/with hindsight


an amazing choice in and of itself

就其本身而言

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