01
I just realized, what a horrible habit, I have made, when I reached my hand to the snacks when the hero I used died.
就在我玩的英雄死了之后，自己下意识把手伸向零食的那一刹那,我才意识到已经养成了多么可怕的一个习惯。
It was at that moment I knew, I have got a sick.
在那一刻我意识到，我病了。
I have noticed my habit, of linking eating With entertainment like, watching movies or playing games It's bad and needs, to Get rid of.
我意识到了自己把吃零食和娱乐项目，比如看电影玩游戏，联系在一起的这种习惯是很不好的，需要戒掉。
Because The repeat of this action, will, establish a Reflect, biologically, just, as, the, more year, used phone why you're study, the more, the lastLess. possible you can, control yourself And stay focused.next time.It's the same, thing all, the same principle.
因为这种动作的重复，在生物学上来说，会建立神经元的联系,久而久之就会变成条件反射。在自习的时候看手机的次数越多，之后控制自己不看手机,保持专注的可能性,也会相应的越来越低。这两件事，本质上来说是一致的，他们有着相同的原理。
However, it is, just at that moment that, I did, that action unconsciously, I realized, a really, may, a horrible thing, which can be, called like, a sick mentally.
但是只有真正我意识到，自己下意识做出那个动作的时候，我才发觉自己是真的患病了。
Here's the sick i've got.
In april I was, faced with, two, extremely expensive, exams, at that time, and meanwhile have to face, some others things, which, inevitably, impose, huge pressure on me.
4月的时候，我同时面临着许多繁杂的事务，以及两门极其昂贵的考试，这相应的不可避免的给我带去了巨大的压力。
Besides I was particularly, hard, about my figure at that time, controlling oil, refusing trash food, no, sugar, things like that.And finally when this pressure, mingled and reach to a top point.The chain mean fast ball comes, came.
同时，在那个时段我对自己的身材还有着比较严苛的要求，控油，拒绝垃圾食品，无糖，等等等等。最终这一切压力混合在一起，并且达到了顶点，就在这个崩溃的时刻，
清明节假期到了。
And that's the time I broke out.
于是在那个时点我崩溃了,或者说爆发了。
I felt like, all the holiday, I was eating And watch movies and matches.When the blood should rises, I went to sleep, and when I woke up, I ate again, such Ridiculous things, lost it, for, three days.
我感觉一整个假期我都在看比赛吃东西。当血糖升高的时候，我就，滚去睡觉，醒了之后，又叫了外卖或者拿着没有吃完的零食，接着边吃边看.这个荒唐的事情居然持续了三天。
It was then I grew this horrible habit.
也就是在那个时段，我养成了恶习。
I felt sick since then.
我从那个时刻,病了。
02
Last week, I just saw a movie.Named big sick,which coincidentally depicted my life of this past six months.
I have been having this, big sick,It feels like I am, taking drugs.
上周末看了一部电影，名为大病，很巧合的，描述了我这半年的生活状况。这个精神病状给我带来的感觉是,我在吸毒。
Why do I use this metaphor?Cause, those experience,is just goddamn like taking drugs.
为什么要用这个比喻呢？因为这半年以来的经历，实在是，太像吸毒了。
Of course I, didn't take drug actually, but I know what the characteristics of taking drugs.First and, of course most,is, the drug addiction which drives you to do that thing even if, you do not want to.
诚然我，并没有真正的吸过毒，但是我知道至少有，两点，吸毒的特点。第一个自然是成瘾---这是你内心，不想做，知道，这么做不对，但依然控制不住。
At.Many times I Was. conscious,I knew that, those, too much, unhealthy food, can, only bring me fat,And. prevent me, from getting a, could figure of course, the the abs I want.
有很多次我都知道，亲，并且清楚地意识到，过多的垃圾食品，指南，给我带去，无用的脂肪，同时让我和好的身材，尤其是我想要的腹肌,渐行渐远。
However, this habit, it's just like drugs, and overwhelmed me.
然而，这个精神疾病，就像毒品一样，淹没了我，吞噬了我。
I tried fought against it, and failed, Again and again.Even many of the many, times I didn't want to, do like, this.
我一次次尝试着抗争，又一次次失败。其实，许多次经历里边儿，我都清楚的，保持着，知道这么做不对的意识。
Another aspect of taking drugs, is, the people who, use it.Believe it or not.The pool is more likely to, take drugs than the rich.Although you may think that, rich people, have more resources to, get, exposed to drugs however, if you have ever seen, the movie called, lord city, you may find the answer.
吸毒的，另一大特点就是，它的使用人群。不管你们信不信，其实，穷人是，比富人吸毒更为普遍的。尽管你们可能认为，一些土豪生活的，纸醉金迷，花天酒地的环境，以及他们所拥有的资源，更有可能让他们接触到毒品。但其实只要你看过电影，上帝之城，你就会找到答案。
And I am making, the Most universal mistake, made by the pool, they're short vision,Rich, keeps, your eyes Focused on the near future, rather than the long Term.
我就放着，绝大部分穷人都会犯的错误，短视思维。永远只把目光盯着眼前的利益，只顾一时痛快，而不考虑，将来如何。
The reason for me to combine, eating With.entertainment It's quite simple.It's just because, it's the easiest way, for me to Field, sentiment of, indulgent.
我把吃喝玩，这两天时间和在一起的理由非常简单，因为他是我所能想到的，体会放纵的滋味的最简单的方式。
God knows, how boring And hard., the extreme self discipline, is.
天知道，在那时，保持极端的自律是有多么无聊以及困难。
03
However I will not call this, a sick, just because I can not control, make control of myself.It's the paradox, and struggle I am faced with, that, make me sick.After having tasted, the feeling of over indulgent,
但是我并不会仅仅因为我没有办法自控，就把这种情况称之为，疾病。是我所面临的。那种，单纯为了放纵而放纵，同时明知放纵不对，却依然一意孤行的矛盾与挣扎。
I missed.the way I should be, very much.
我无比的想念，我应该，拥有的状态。
Getting up at, five thirty, in the morning.That's me.Doing, in seventy, max thirty, every day, and, having no snacks for months, in aerial, that's me.Spare no efforts learning, from morning to dip light, that's me.All of those, diligent, positive, images, that you may, admire, you may want to be, have been me, that's, what, I was.
早上5点半起床，连续一百多天，是我；每天刷ins，少油少盐，几个月不吃零食，是我；不遗余力，从早学到晚，还注意力绝对集中，是我。
所有那些，你可能，钦佩的羡慕的，想要成为的勤奋的，积极正面向上的形象，都曾是我过去的样子。
But how, did things come to this pathetic situation.
但现在，事情却是这样一个悲哀的境地。
It's just because, I have, lost faith, I don't believe all that I don't trust, that I can make those extraordinary achievement.
这仅仅是，我失去了信念，我不再相信，我可以取得出色的成就。
And I was, taking, diet and trying to, lose weight, I am little bit skiing which, my ribs, can even be seen, and, it was at that moment, my face, nuisance, I began to, wonder, but maybe I just can not, get those abs, therefore I, fell down through then, from that time.
我记得我的崩溃，是在当时，自己通过运动以及近乎严苛的饮食控制，以求刷出腹肌的最后阶段——我已经，略微有一点，瘦骨嶙峋了，肋骨都可以看得见，然而，腹肌仍然是不成型。巨大的外界压力以及长久不见的成果，使得我的内心产生了怀疑。
于是我从那个时刻摔倒了，跛了。
I did have lost weight, successfully, or, ninety percent successfully more precisely speaking.And it, I was just as that, ten point, position, I, doubt, the road, line, ahead of me.I don't believe myself, for no reason.Maybe, the time And effort, I have, spared, it's just too much, and I cannot wait any more.
我的确成功的，减去了一些体重，为了腹肌，但我的成功准确来说，只有90%，在还剩10%的时候，我怀疑起了在前方的路，我怀起了我所付出的所有时间和努力，我只觉得自己等不了更久了。
I just cannot hold on to it, at that time.
我听听是在那个时刻，不能再坚持下去了。
I know this, failure this, failing experience is quite frustrating, But, does that mean, that, I can not get cured？
我知道这段失败的经历，很让人沮丧，但是，这就意味着，我没有办法治愈自己吗？
One of my best friend, remind me that.It's normal state, two, clubs from time to time when, you have too much salt in your mind.That's everything's gonna be okay as long as you stick to your face.
我最好的一个朋友提醒我，在脑子里想法很多的时候，崩溃是常态，但只要，坚持你内心的信念，就好。
The more you feel like, club thing, or, broken, the, more you should efforts you should spare, with, things you, have to do.Even if you cannot finish, at, right now, as long as you stick to it, to the things, you really want, one day, you will reach to it eventually.
而越让你感到崩溃，不行的时候，你就越应当去做，应该做的事情，即使你现在不能达到你想要的目标，总有一天，你是可以完成的。
04
Failure, and mistakes are, try, valuable, resources as long as you, reflect on it otherwise they're just crap.
失败和错误，其实是宝贵的经验，只要你，学会从他们，上面反思，否则，他们就只是一坨垃圾。
So, what I am gonna do, to Cure myself, of this, big sick.
所以接下来我打算，怎么治好，我自己呢？
I will just, keep, asking myself one question.What kind of person, do I like to be.
我会很简单的，问自己一个问题，不停的问。
我到底想成为怎样的一个人？
Is the fact, without any muscles, especially apples, who can only, who, only want to sleep and eat all day long, I want to be.Negative.Or, is, that, the guy who, plays games, all day long, without, caring about his, study, and, sucking, he is, pathetic life I want to be.Or is the one, who, spend, quality of time, on study, reading, writing, fitness thing, and, playing, for fun, that I want to be.
是那种整天，除了吃就只能睡，没有任何肌肉，更不可能有腹肌的胖子，是我想成为的吗；或者，是那种，前天，不关心学业，只知道打游戏，最终只能，在自己惨淡的人生中，默默啜泣的人吗？或者，还是一个能够享受有质量的时间，把时间花在学习阅读写作，运动，以及真正快乐的玩耍上的人吗？
I know I am a normal person, however, now I have the face that, I can make extraordinary achievement.As long as I, push towards it.
我知道其实我也是个凡人，但是，我现在捡起了信念，即使我是一个凡人，但是只要我努力去做，我依然可以拥有卓越的成就。
Here is some specific, and, material tips I want, make.
最后附上一点，实际的方法，来戒掉我的毛病。（展现一种思考的方式。）
First is, separate, the snack sing and entertainment,The less I do this, the more likely I will get rid of it.
首先是把吃零食和游乐活动两件事分开，我做的越少，越有可能戒掉这种不良习惯。
Second is, whenever I am induced by the feeling of over indulgent, try to do some, try to have some quality of time, like, reading writing or..Physical exercising.A set of push ups um, good.Use your core. and tighten your chest.
第二点就是，每当我面临，遭受及时反馈诱惑的矛盾境地时，就把时间花在一些有质量的事情上面，比如，阅读写作，或者，做一点运动，一组俯卧撑，用上我的核心，收紧胸肌，听起来不错。
The third is shorten the period of, plans.I used to, take, the first face as ten days, a second, is a hundred days, and third,Is.a thousand, which, is, quite, difficult.
第三点就是缩短，我原先设定的迭代周期。之前也用的是以十为基数，一千是十天，二阶是一百天，三阶，这是一千天，近三年的时间，听起来确实过于困难了。
And next period, I would like to change the base, to seven days.So seven, forty nine, and.Three hundred and fifty three.This may be more practical and more natural.
所以我打算在下一阶段把技术改为七，7，49，353，这可能会更实际，更容易操作，同样也更为自然。
Stay consciously with my own life, and, just make extraordinary achievement.
我想用心的去活，活出一个精彩的人生。
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