这是我参加头马俱乐部（Toasmaster）的第一个备稿演讲。中文在原英文稿的基础上翻译。作为第一次的破冰演讲（ice-break）, 内容有点复杂，我也担心会把听众闷到。不过，通过框架和PPT的视觉辅佐，还好，观众说10分钟的演讲只觉得过了7分钟，一个小伙伴说像TED Talk, 另一个伙伴说喜欢我的内容，要找时间跟我探讨。Yeah, yeah, 第一次演讲顺利破冰！问题点：练习时间不够，多了点AHs, Ens….and thanks a lot for Liki &JR ‘s feedbacks.
The Odyssey in Seeking Myself
寻找自我的奥德赛之旅
About two years ago, I had a serious sorethroat and lost my voice. And my son did something which pissed me off. Yet, Iwas not able to shout at him, scream at him. I tried to scold at him but novoice. And my son pretended that he didn’t hear what I was saying. He smiled atme and asked , “ Mummy, what did you say?” That little creature really put meon the fire!
大约两年前，我喉咙严重疼痛，失去了声音。我儿子做了件让我生气的事。然而，我却不能对他大喊大叫，对他大喊大叫。我试图骂他，但没有声音。我儿子假装没听到我说的话。他朝我微笑着问：“妈妈，你说什么了？我听不到啊。”那小家伙真的把我引燃了！
At that moment, I suddenly recalled astupid idea I had before. The idea was that I wished I were a dumb so I did notneed to speak before others. But now l lost my voice, how terribly it was. Why Ihad such a strange idea?
在那一刻，我突然想起了我以前的一个愚蠢的想法。我的想法是希望自己是个哑巴，所以我不需要在别人面前说话。但现在我失去了声音，真是太可怕了。为什么我以前有这样一个奇怪的想法？
Similar to the idea, I had an image in mybrain that when I was in college, I wished to reduce a drop of water, so no one can see me. I was almost on the edge of killing myself，right? Is itstrange? Many young people want to be famous and want to be seen by others. ButI was on the opposite. I was very unique, right? Did anyone here have similarideas like me before?
与这个想法类似，当我在大学的时候，我脑子里有个想法，我希望缩小成一滴水，这样就没有人能看到我。别人看不见我，我几乎要自杀了,是不是？奇怪吗？许多年轻人想出名，想被别人看到。但我恰恰相反。我很独特，对吧？这里有没有人像我一样有类似的想法？
Why did I have such strange ideas before? Ifelt uncomfortable with others. I had no confidence in speaking out.
为什么我以前有这么奇怪的想法？我觉得和别人在一起不舒服。我不敢说出来。
Why? For a long time, I attributed this toa DNA issue, e.g. I was an introvert person, I was not that nature who couldspeak well. So, I naturally preferred to be quiet.
为什么？很长一段时间，我把这归因于一个DNA问题，例如我是一个内向的人，我不是那种会说话的人。所以，我自然喜欢安静。
But at last, I understood that it is notDNA issue. The answer to this question lies in this iceberg. Yes, I found thekey here.
但最后，我明白这不是DNA问题。这个问题的答案就在这座冰山上。是的，我在这里找到了答案。
Every belief comes with reasons.It’s mainly from Pastexperience, especially our early childhood experience. All these experience& beliefs store in my subconscious mind.
每个信念都有理由。这主要是来自过去的经验，尤其是我们童年的经历。这些经验和信念储存在我的潜意识里。
As you can see from this slid, how the ABC formula worked in my childhood.The A represents Activations may include these factors: Parentswere too busy to pay attention to what I said. A stupid kid not favored byteachers; Had some stutters. Then Beliefsgrew in my mind: I was bad in speaking. I was not good enough. Followed bytheConsequences: Dare not to speak;Give up self-expression; Keep silent.
正如你从这张幻灯片中看到的，ABC公式在我的童年是如何工作的。A代表的激活可能包括以下因素：父母太忙而没有注意到我说的话。一个不受老师喜爱的愚蠢的孩子；口吃过。然后，我的脑海里浮现出信念：我说话不好。我不够好。随之而来的后果是：不敢说话；放弃自我表达；保持沉默。
So gradually, those experiences & ideasconsolidated in my subconscious and become of part of my beliefs. And the more Itended to be silent, the more abilities I lost in speaking. It made a viciouscycle.
因此，这些经验和想法逐渐在我的潜意识中巩固，成为我信仰的一部分。我越是沉默，表达和沟通的能力就越差，形成了一个恶性循环。
That belief made me feel good as it was aborn nature something in my understanding. I did not need to feel guilty when Idid not speak well. But as you know, it’s not the truth.
这种信念让我感觉很好，因为它是天生的东西。我说得不好时，我需要感到内疚。但正如你所知，这不是事实。
But since I also have some senses, I knew in our life and work, we had tocommunicate. So I struggled between keeping silence & saying something likea pendulum (钟摆图片). Yet this harmful belief affected me for a long time. Till verylate, in my previous company, I was obliged to take an English speech contestand won a second prize, by giving an impressive product presentation. Myconfidence in speaking was largely increased and thus, my past belief had beenrevised. So, my new experience reshaped my recognitions toward speaking, it’snot a DNA issue, it’s a learning issue, a deliberate practicing.
但由于我也有一些理智，我知道在我们的生活和工作中，我们必须交流。所以我在保持沉默和说钟摆之类的话之间挣扎，内耗不少能量。这种信念长期影响着我。直到很晚以前，在我以前的公司里，我不得不参加一个英语演讲比赛，并通过一个令人印象深刻的产品演示获得了二等奖。我对讲话的信心大大增强，因此，我过去的信念也被修正了。所以，我的新经历改变了我对讲话的认识，这不是DNA问题，这是学习问题，是刻意练习。
The first time I watched the film “When theMonster call”, I was shocked by a sentence in the film “You should be very careful what you believe in”. This sentence comesto my mind regularly. Yes, it’s pretty true:your belief determines how far you can go.
当我第一次看电影《当怪物来敲门》时，我被电影中的一句话震惊了，“你要非常小心你所相信的”。我经常想起这句话。是的，这非常正确：你的信念决定了你能走多远。
So, check your beliefs from time to timewhether it is good for you. Some beliefs may be harmful or limited to you. Forexample, if you think you are too old to learn a new skill, then you really areold, and lose the chance of experiencing something. New.
所以，经常检查你的信仰是否对你有好处。有些信念可能有害或局限于你。例如，如果你认为自己年纪太大，学不到新技能，那么你真的老了，失去了体验更多生活的可能。
Thenhow to stop the curse which hinders us from growing better? The answer lies inthis pyramid.This part is a bit hard for me. I try mybest to explain from top to end. Spirituality, identity, values & beliefs,these three levels are the individual beliefs, subconscious part.
那么，如何阻止阻碍我们成长的诅咒呢？答案在这个金字塔里。这部分对我来说有点难。我尽力从头到尾解释。灵性、身份、价值观和信仰，这三个层次都是个人信仰、潜意识的一部分。
For this part, we need to understandourselves. Looking deep inside our inner voice, talk to ourselves frequently. Wecando meditation, writing reflections, talk to trusted friendsto notice what’s going on in our mind. From the ABCemotional traces, we can find out what we are. For example, today, I was nothappy. Why? I saw Nancy had a new Gucci bag costed 10 thousand RMB, I feltjealous of her and I wanted to buy a new bag costed more than hers. You seeyour jealousy because of low self-esteem. You will feel less controlled by youremotions next time.
对于这一部分，我们需要了解我们自己。仔细观察我们内心深处的声音，经常和自己交谈。我们可以做冥想，写作思考，和值得信赖的朋友交谈，以注意我们头脑中发生的事情。从ABC的情感痕迹中，我们可以发现我们是什么。例如，今天，我不开心。为什么？我看到南希有一个新的古驰包，价值一万元，我嫉妒她，我想买一个比她更贵的PRADA包。你看到你的嫉妒是因为自卑。下一次你的感觉控制的更少。
In your meditation or reflection, Checkwhether two egos fight against in your brain. I use this pic to illustrate therelationship of two egos. Oneself has two 2 egos inside. Ego 2 like parent, ego1 like the kid. If ego 2 keep on judging you, criticizing ego1.Once this voice appears, we cannot focus on what we do. Instead, there will be lots of inner struggles. Try to turnego1 to look patiently at ego1, love him, empower him. Then you can focus onwhat you do, and find out the way suits you.
在你的冥想或思考中，检查两个自我是否在你的大脑中对抗。我用这张花艺图来说明两个自我之间的关系。自己内心有两个自我。这个花艺代表着个人，下面的花代表自我1，像孩子，上面的花是自我2像父母。如果自我2评判你，批评自我1。一旦这个声音出现，我们就不能专注于我们所做的事情。这是一种强烈的内心挣扎，消耗着我们的能量。试着转变自我1，耐心地看着自我2，爱他，赋予他力量。然后你就可以专注于你所做的，并找到适合你自己的道路。
For the Identity part, it’s kind of yourdesires. I changed a lot since I became a mother, because I want to be a goodparent who can set good example for my son. I encourage him in public speaking,so I come here. I had strong desire to swim with my son, so l overcame the fearof water and learn how to swim by myself last summer.
在身份方面，这是你的欲望。自从我成为母亲后，我改变了很多，因为我想成为一个好父母，为我的儿子树立好榜样。我鼓励他在公共场合演讲，所以我来到这里。我很想和儿子一起游泳，所以去年夏天我克服了对水的恐惧，学会了自己游泳。
For the capabilities, behavior andenvironment part, they are external parts as you can see. Finding anenvironment, a group you enjoy to stay in, I come here because everyone hasmotivation to learn, to grow, I love this. Human are group animal. We do needpeers who share the same value to encourage us to go together. For behaviorpart, as the Club president mentioned many times, learning by doing. Only bydoing, you can changed and learned. I had very deep feelings after severalattendances in TM club here. Stop too much thinking and waiting, just takeaction, then do evaluation, you will be on the way of upgrading yourcapabilities.
对于功能、行为和环境部分，它们是您可以看到的外部部分。找到一个环境，一个你喜欢呆在里面的团体，我来到这里是因为每个人都有学习、成长的动力，我喜欢这个。人是群居动物。我们确实需要具有相同价值的同龄人来鼓励我们走到一起。对于行为部分，正如俱乐部的主席多次提到的，通过做来学习。只有这样，你才能改变和学习。在这里参加了几次TM俱乐部之后，我有了很深的感受。停止太多的思考和等待，采取行动，然后做评估，你将在升级你的能力的路上。
At last, be patient to yourself, be thefriend of time, to bravely embrace change & challenges.
Just like Forrest Gump said, Life is a boxof chocolate, you never know what’s inside the box.
The odyssey in seeking myself, it’sactually a journey to create myself.
Keep running, keep going.
最后，对自己要有耐心，做时间的朋友，勇敢地接受变化和挑战。
正如阿甘所说，生活就像一盒巧克力，你永远不知道盒子里装的是什么。
寻找自我的奥德赛，实际上是一个创造自我的旅程。
继续奔跑，一路向前！
