甫一开篇,立马感到不俗的文字功底。光是那些章节标题就已经不同凡响, 绝对考倒任何翻译:
1.Screaming Mimis 2. Tart-tongued and Bitchy and Wise 3. Ke$ha and the Prissy Queen 4. The fag Hagony and the Ecstasy 5. Work It Out, Sister 6. The Bitter Tears of Jackie O 7. Hokey Hookers and Gypsy Tarts 8. A Diva and the Verger 9. Macaroons Are So Gay 10. Jamie Oliver Is a Lesbian 11. Go Tuck Yourself 12. A Nelly on the Telly 13. Operation Goldilocks 14. Gay Men Do Eat Crumble 15. The Most Important Word in the History of Style 16. Can I Measure Your Inside Leg? 17. Moobs and Fat Asses 18. The First Elf
让我意想不到的是,一个在时尚界混走江湖数十载的橱窗设计师,在遣词造句上的天马行空,竟然可以与他的橱窗设计一样令人眼花缭乱,击掌叹服!
他这样描述意大利那不勒斯湾的卡普里岛:
This is the ultimate mash-up of gay and straight, studs and starlets, a utopia fashion show of Fellini-esque fierceness. All the handsome Italian lads look like soccer players or gigolos. All the pretty Italian girls get dressed up and teeter down the Caprese cobble-stones in strappy Dolce & Gabbana showgirl shoes. Think Monica Vitti and Virna Lisi. Think Marcello Mastroianni. Think Anna Magnani!
(这是同性恋异性恋,猛男与二线明星汇合的终点,是一场带有费里尼凌利风格的乌托邦时装秀。意大利帅哥们个个看着像球星或舞男。意大利靓妞们个个打扮得花枝招展,穿着D & G 系带鞋子,像嫩模一样一扭一扭地走在卡普里岛的碎石路上。)
柔软男人的幽默感,毫不亚于阳刚男人。他是这么描述母亲怀他的情形的:
My pixie-sized frame is attributable to the fact that Betty Doonan, God rest her nicotine-riddled soul, smoked like a maniac when she was up the duff.
I am sure it looked and felt very Marlene Dietrich to be wreathed in smoke while patting the bump, but there were ramifications. After nine months of puffing, out popped little me. A waif. A gamine. A shrimp.
(我精灵的身板归功于贝蒂杜南(注:他妈妈的名字)。愿上帝安息她那积满尼古丁的灵魂。因为她怀我那阵子抽烟抽得凶极了。
我想在烟雾缭绕中的她摩挲着肚子那模样一定很有玛琳黛德丽范儿。 不过凡是皆有报应。这么吞云吐雾九个月后,蹦出我这么一个流浪儿,一名假小子,一条小虾仁。)
他抨击起异性恋世界来,毫不手软:
With their porno-heeled pumps and their protein-rich diets, the women of America always loom menacingly over me. As a result, I have developed an intense familiarity with the area below their boobs. I stare straight at it all day long. If I had X-ray eyes, I would be looking at the pancreas and gall bladder region. Bon Appetit!
美国女人穿着A片演员才穿的高跟鞋,吃着蛋白质丰富的食物,站在我跟前总像泰山压顶那么可怕。结果,我对她们乳房下面的部位极为熟悉。我终日正面直视这一部位。假如我眼睛有X光的功能,我看到的就是胰腺和胆囊区域。祝你没有倒胃口!
整本书读下来,我对柔软男人的世界有了新一层的理解。一方面,他们具有女性的心细如绵,爱干净,注重生活小细节的优点,另一方面,他们又很大胆,敢于挑战任何世俗传统。他又自己出位的衣着时尚和独特的饮食习惯。尤其在性欲方面,他们几乎无所顾忌。 这些,都是我们这些所谓“正常”(straight)的异性恋男人所难以望其项背的。
咀嚼着字里行间的神来之笔,我幡然大悟:柔软男人也有一支刚硬的笔!
