- 今天我的确就是想要简单整理下自己的一个思绪，简单来说，我感觉就是自己没有找到那个努力的方向，就是感觉每天都浑浑噩噩的。就是感觉目前的这个工作或者职业并不是很让我感兴趣或者说是感到有成就和有意义的，于是乎，我真的就是觉得挺迷茫的。
- 但是说实话，内心深处我其实还是知道自己对什么感兴趣的，只是我一直以来也只是在脑子里思考，并没有采取实际行动。是的，我觉得根本就是我目前还是一种处于比较内耗的状态，我并没有真正跨出那一步来。
- 是的，我们来简单描述下目前的一个生活或者工作状态吧？
- 简单来说，就是感觉我目前的生活和工作并不是和我理想的状态或者我的价值相契合，或者说是我觉得我的生活和工作并不是很full-filing. 还有一点就是感觉我目前的状态有点内耗，因为我没有在正视自己真实的想法、感觉.
- Let's just clean up our minds a bit. I think we feel a bit stuck here. In short, I think our life, job, and career are not very fulfilling at this moment. Or I think we could not really focus well and that has made a lot of things quite tough. I am thinking about below:
- We can try to work out more
- We can start learning sth new every day at work and after work
- We can learn to be friends with our feelings and emotions
- 其实我今天大致整理了下自己的思维和情况，其实我觉得我目前的状态就和高中时很像，就是很难进入状态，然后的话，又因为进入不了状态，整个人特别飘以至于内心依然十分空虚，所以就会去想很多东西，列很多计划去填补那个空洞，但是本质上又并没有实际的行动。
- 是的，我也觉得，我觉得目前的这个状态真的就是很像我高中的时候，就是对现状不太满意，然后就是很希望自己能是特定的状态，然后如果不是那种状态的话就会感到很焦虑，然后这种焦虑不安又会让我更加的焦虑不安，于是乎，我就在自己的脑子里思考很多东西来代替具体的行动，于是乎，我觉得自己离实际的生活越来越远。
- 非常非常简单的一点就是，我目前的工作或者说我的生活并不能让我进入状态或者专注下来，于是乎，我就觉得我的注意力一整天都是飘着的，然后这种感觉实在是过于糟糕，我就试图去思考或者在脑子里建立空中楼阁去安抚自己不安的内心去代替实际的行动，但是本质上我的注意力还是没有聚集在某件特定的事情上，所以我就还是会觉得不安，甚至觉得自己没有在生活而只是在脑子里想象和“模拟生活”罢了。
- 的确，我觉得我可以试着学习去观察和接纳我的情绪。I think it's all about being authentic. Just like I am learning to be authentic in front of my friends and in a social setting, it's like I dont have to be a certain way to be "normal" or "acceptable" or "pleasant" to be accepted. I think I am learning it gradually. I tended to treate myself as a commodity but I realized that it is actually not true. My real friends love me most likely because i am perfect and if i could not really show my vunlnerable side in front of them, it's likely this friendship wont go anywhere far enough. So for me, i think its a mutual selection. i wanted to be authentic, real, and vulnerable in front of my friends so i can filter out the ppl who couldn't accept me for who i am and i probbaly dont think its a big deal anyway because what i truly want is the genunie connection.
- However, when it comes to work, i think i put a lot of self-worth on it and also i would judge myself for not loving my job and because i wanted to measure up to the standards that i set for myeslf at work, i was not being authentic enough for example i am not allowing my true feelings and emotions out.
