From the Earth to the Moon
by Jules Verne
“Do you mean to say,” J. T. Maston exclaimed in a ringing voice, “that the last years of our lives will not be devoted to the improvement of firearms? That there will be no new opportunities to test the ranges of our projectiles? That the air will never again be bright with the flash of our cannons? That there will be no international difficulties which will enable us to declare war on some transatlantic country? That the French will never sink a single one of our steamers, or that the English will never hang any of our citizens in direct violation of the law of nations?”
“你的意思是说，”曼斯顿惊呼，“我们这后半辈子，都不会再专门研究改进枪支？也再不会有检验实弹射程的机会了？天空再也不会被炮弹爆炸照亮？再也不会有国际争端能让我们向大西洋彼岸的国家宣战了？法国不会击沉一艘我们的轮船，英国也不会处死我们的同胞来直接违反国际法了？”
“No, Maston,” replied Colonel Bloomsberry, “we’ll never be that lucky. Not one of those things will happen, and even if one of them did happen, it wouldn’t do us any good! Americans are getting less and less touchy all the time. It won’t be long before we’re a nation of old women!”
“We’re becoming humble,” said Bilsby.
“And we’re being humbled!” added Tom Hunter.
“It’s all too true,” J. T. Maston said with renewed vehemence. “There are all kinds of reasons for fighting, but we don’t fight! We’re intent on saving arms and legs for people who don’t know what to do with them! And there’s no need to look very far for a reason going to war. For example. America once belonged to English, didn’t it?”
“是的，曼斯顿，”布鲁姆斯伯里上校回答说，“我们是没有这么好的运气的。这些事情是不会发生的，即是真的发生了一件，也无济于事！美国人是越来越难被触动了。我们过的日子越来越像国内那些老女人了！“
“我们只能变得谦逊、忍耐，”倍尔斯尔说。
“我们要在人前低眉顺眼！”汤姆紧接着说。
“这一切都是真的，”曼斯顿用激烈的语气说到，“开战的借口这么多，可我们不打！那些根本不知道怎么用他们四肢的人只想保全他们的胳臂和腿！而打仗的借口如此显而易见根本不需要深思。例如，美洲曾经属于英国人，不是吗？”
“Yes, it did,” replied Tom Hunter, angrily poking the fire with the end of his crutch.
“Well, then,” said J. T. Maston, “why shouldn’t it be England’s turn to belong to America?”
“That would be only fair,” said Colonel Bloomsberry.
“Just go and suggest it to the President!” said J. T. Maston. “You’ll see what kind of a reception he’ll give you!”
“It wouldn’t be a very polite reception,” Bilsby murmured between the four teeth he had saved from battle.
“I certainly won’t vote for him in the next election!” said J. T. Maston.
“Neither will I!” the bellicose cripples all shouted at once.
“Meanwhile,” said the intrepid J. T. Maston, “if I’m not given a chance to try out my mortar on a real battlefield, I’ll resign from the Gun Club and go off into the wilds of Arkansas.”
“And we’ll all go with you!” replied the others.
“是的，对啊！”汤姆回答说，用他的拐杖气狠狠地捣着火炉。
“很好，那么，”曼斯顿开口道，“为什么英格兰就不能属于美国了呢？”
“这才是公平的啊，”布鲁姆斯伯里上校说。
“快去给总统提个建议！”曼斯顿说，“看看总统会怎么接待你！”
“才不会有礼地接待，”倍尔斯贝喃喃道，声音从战后仅剩的四颗牙齿中传出。
“下次选举我肯定不会把票投给他！”曼斯顿说。
“我也不会！”这些身虽残但依然好战的军人们一同嚷道。
“现在，”曼斯顿又说，“我如果没有机会在真正的战场上试试我的迫击炮的话，那我就退出大炮俱乐部，到阿肯色州的荒野上去。”
“对，我们都和你一起去！”其余人都附和着。
