作者:泰戈尔
译者:水石山房主人(仗剑书生)
28
Obstinate are the trammels, but my heart aches when I try to break them.
Freedom is all I want, but to hope for it I feel ashamed.
I am certain that priceless wealth is in thee, and that thou art my best friend, but I have not the heart to sweep away the tinsel that fills my room.
The shroud that covers me is a shroud of dust and death; I hate it, yet hug it in love.
My debts are large, my failures great, my shame secret and heavy; yet when I come to ask for my good, I quake in fear lest my prayer be granted.
译文:
罗网坚固,但我试图冲决它们时心就剧痛。
我只要自由,但对自由的期盼让我感到羞愧。
我确信无价之宝在你那里,而你是我最好的朋友,但我不忍心清除我满屋浮华的装饰。
灰尘与死亡之衣裹着我;我恨它,却又依恋地将其裹紧。
我的债务繁多,我的失败巨大,我的耻辱隐秘而沉重;可当我祈福时,我战栗不安,生怕我的祈求得到满足。
翻译手记:
孟加拉语原作为《献歌集》第145首。
改变是痛苦的。即便经历了巨大的失败,意识到了深重的困境,当想要走出来时,又陷入重重矛盾,既对过往依依不舍,又对未来的不确定性感到恐惧,这首诗把这种状态写得入木三分。正因为如此,凤凰涅槃才显得伟大。