高一那年第一次听帮主05年斯坦福大学演讲，在接下来的半年多里反复听到可以直接脱口而出他的原话。

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

这个故事比之前两个来的都要深刻些，但我每每分享出去都觉得特别苍白。

直到今天才恍然——

你说着把每一天当做最后一天来过，但你潜意识里认为自己能活很久，所以根本没有这么做。

在心理咨询师教材的社会心理学单元，有个专栏介绍了【中国人的面子】

中国人重视的他人是“重要他人”，也就是和自己有密切联系和利益关系的人，比如家人、朋友、邻居和同事等；而西方人重视的他人是“概念化他人”，也就是一般的人也会对他们的人格形成和行为方式产生影响。因此，中国人非常注意维护在重要他人面前的形象，而对于自己关系不大的人，则不太在乎他们的看法和感受。

这就是为什么听了那么多道理、喝了那么多鸡汤、读了那么多励志故事，却仍然过不好自己的一生。

之前读过一篇名字让我过目不忘的文章，叫“上进女恨不得别人的优点都长在自己身上”，与其无谓地羡慕，不如厘清别人哪个内在属性让我欣赏，然后拷贝过来据为己有……这句话简直说到心里。

总是盯着他人的缺点，这说明你的状态很糟糕，因为你想通过观察其他人的缺点，来逃避自己的愚蠢，不愿努力的事实。

——尼采

昨晚——马原考前的最后一夜——看到说说里有人转发了百度贴吧里一贴，“考上北大后再体验高考地域差异”，完完整整看完第一反应是连连点头难怪我等注定平庸……好在及时刹住车，问问自己：我到底是被哪个点hold住了？

忙不迭地又去翻《被讨厌的勇气》来定定心；我对情绪还是没什么拿得准的破解方法，开心还就罢了，郁闷、赌气、嫉妒、羡慕等等若是攻上来我必定一丝反击的空间都无，一点战胜的希望皆空。

我后来给那个同学回复了一句，“可能是我们现在还不知道自己想要什么，所以不管看到什么好的都想要”——就像第一次吃自助餐必然会吃撑——再送三个字，“别着急”。到底死赖着还没到二字开头。

在三亚私塾课的时候欣频老师让我们闭上眼睛想象自己最理想的一天是什么模样，我一直停留在上午的种种细节上，她说差不多继续上课的时候我还没切换到中午和下午的场景……从那至今也有大半年，也明白了有些事情光想是想不清楚自己到底喜欢什么，而是要亲手去做、亲身体验之后，身体知道答案。

帮主和Alan都死于胰腺癌。

武志红说，癌症病人多有一个共同特点：特别压抑自己某一方面的情绪。这种情绪可能是愤怒，可能是内疚，可能是悲伤……某种重要的情绪产生了，你拒绝接受，绝对地拒绝接受，并把它极力压制到潜意识中去，你成功了，你似乎不再受这一情绪的困扰。然而，这一被压制的情绪通过身体表达了出来。或许，癌细胞便是身体对这一被彻底压制的情绪的表达。

身体是我们与自然的最本然连结，但很多人忘了它。

《心灵捕手》中那一长段的湖边对话让我难忘——

So, if I asked you about art, you'd probably give me the skinny on Every art book ever written.

如果我问你艺术,你可能会提出艺术书籍中的粗浅论调。

Michelangelo. You know a lot about him: life's work, political aspirations, him and the Pope, sexual orientation, the whole works, right?

有关米开朗基罗,你知道很多，他的满腔政治热情，与教皇相交莫逆，耽于性爱，你对他很清楚吧？

But I bet you can't tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You've never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling…seeing that.

但你连西斯汀教堂的气味也不曾嗅到？你未曾站在那儿，昂首眺望天花板上的名画吧？可是我见过。

If I ask you about women, you'll probably give me a syllabus of your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can't tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman and feel truly happy.

如果我问关于女人的事， 你大可以向我如数家珍，你可能上过几次床，但你没法说出当自己在女人身旁醒来时，那份涌自内心真正的喜悦。

You're a tough kid. And I ask you about war, you'd probably, uh, throw Shakespeare at me, right? "Once more onto the breach, dear friends…"

你年轻彪悍，我如果和你谈论战争，你会向我大抛莎士比亚， 朗诵“共赴战场，亲爱的朋友”

But you've never been near one. You've never held your best friend's head in your lap…and watched him gasp his last breath, lookin' to you for help.

但你从未亲临战阵，未试过把挚友的头拥入怀里，看着他吸着最后一口气，凝望着你，垂死向你求助。

I ask you about love, you'll probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable……

我问你何为爱情，你可能只会吟风弄月，但你未试过全情投入真心倾倒，

Known someone that could level you with her eyes……feelin' like God put an angel on earth just for you……who could rescue you from the depths of hell……

四目交投时彼此了解对方的心，好比上帝安排天使下凡只献给你，把你从地狱深渊拯救出来

And you wouldn't know what it's like to be her angel……to have that love for her, be there forever…through anything…through cancer.

对她百般关怀的感受你也从未体会，你从未对她情深款款矢志厮守，明知她患了绝症也再所不惜，你从未尝试过痛失挚爱的感受。

And you wouldn't know about sleeping sittin' up in a hospital room for two months, holding her hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes that the terms "visiting hours" don't apply to you.

你也从未经历过在她的病床前坚定不移地陪伴，紧握着她的纤手，因为医生知道你根本就不在乎“探访时间”的明文约束。

You don't know about real loss……'cause that only occurs when you love something more than you love yourself. I doubt you've ever dared to love anybody that much.

你并没有体会过“失去”的真正意义...因为只有在你爱某人甚于自身时才会领悟。我怀疑你从未付出过这样的爱。

I look at you.I don't see an intelligent, confident man. I see a cocky, scared-shitless kid.

现在我看着你，眼前所见并非一位聪敏、自信的男人，而是一个无耻狂妄、内心恐惧的孩子

But you're a genius, Will. No one denies that. No one could possibly understand the depths of you.

但是你是个天才，威尔。这是毋庸置疑的。没人可以完全认识到你的深度。

But you presume to know everything about me, because you saw a painting of mine. You ripped my fuckin' life apart.

但是你在我的油画上瞥过一眼、就以为了解了我的一切？你的狂言糟蹋了我的人生！

You're an orphan, right? Do you think I know the first thing about how hard your life has been? How you feel? Who you are? Because I read Oliver Twist? Does that encapsulate you?

你是个孤儿吧？但你认为我能看穿你的悲惨生活、认识你的全部，仅仅因为我读过《雾都孤儿》？莫非它能简化你的人生？

Personally, I don't give a shit about all that. Because you know what? I can't learn anything from you I can't read in some fuckin' book.

个人而言，我对此莫不关心。因为你知道吗？我无法通过一些破书来认识你的一点一滴。

Unless, you wanna talk about you…who you are. Then I 'm fasciated. I'm in. But you don't want to do that, do you? You're terrified of what you might say.

除非你先谈论自己，告诉我你到底是谁。于是我对此着迷，我愿意来帮助你。但是你并不想这么做，是吗？你甚至还怕你会被说出来的话吓到。

After all, have you ever taken it seriously?

Otherwise, you have no right to say so.