作者信仰“重建”的过程
作者在书写出他对上帝，对上帝良善的怀疑和“否定”之后，写道：
“Why do I make room in mymind for such filth and nonsense? Do I hope that if feeling disguises itselfas thought I shall feel less? Aren’t allthese notes the senseless writings of a man who wont accept the fact that thereis nothing we can do with suffering except to suffer it?” “为什么我要在我的心里为这些污秽和荒谬的想法腾出空间？我是不是希望，当感情伪装成思想时，我会感觉轻松一些？难道这些笔记不是一个人无意义的文字记录，只因为他不愿接受这个事实：对于痛苦，我们除了承受它，什么也做不了？”
作者对自己的剖析和“嘲弄”：
It (the author’s description of God as a Cosmic Sadist) was really just Billingsgate – mere abuse;’telling God what I thought of Him’. And of course, as in all abusive language, ‘what I thought didn’t mean what I thought true. Only what I thought would offend Him (and His worshippers) most. That sort of thing is never said without some pleasure. Gets it ‘off your chest’. You feel better for a moment” “（作者对上帝的描述为‘宇宙施虐者’）其实不过是市井骂街——纯粹的辱骂；‘向上帝说出我对祂的看法’罢了。当然，像所有的辱骂语言一样，‘我所说的并非我认为真实的，只是我认为最能冒犯祂（以及祂的信徒）的话。’这种话从来不会毫无快感地说出口，说出来总有一种‘发泄’的感觉。片刻之间，你会感觉轻松一些。”
苦难的必要性:
“The more we believe that God hurts only to heal, the less we believe that there is any use in begging for tenderness. … The kinder and more conscientious he (a surgeon) is, the more inexorably he will go on cutting. If he yielded to your entreaties, if he stopped before the operation was complete, all the pain up to that point would have been useless. .. The tortures occur. If they are unnecessary, then there is no God or a bad one. If there is a good God, then these tortures are necessary.”“我们越相信上帝的伤害是为了医治，就越不会相信祈求祂温柔有什么用……一位医生越是仁慈、越是有责任感，就越会毫不妥协地继续切割。如果他因你的哀求而动摇，在手术完成之前停手，那么直到那一刻的所有痛苦都会变得毫无意义……折磨是确实存在的。如果这些折磨是没有必要的，那么要么根本没有上帝，要么上帝是恶的。如果上帝是良善的，那么这些折磨就是必要的。”
在经历了数月的悲伤阴霾、体力透支、身体疲惫，以及阴沉天气之后，某个清晨，阳光灿烂，微风拂面，作者忽然感受到了一些出人意料的变化，并由此展开了反思：
“And suddenly at the very moment when, so far, I mourned H. least, I remembered her best. Indeed, it was something (almost) better than memory; an instantaneous, unanswerable impression. To say it was a meeting would be going too far. Yet there was that in it which tempts one t o use those words. It was as if the lifting of the sorrow removed a barrier. ““突然间，就在我对H.的哀悼感到最少的时候，我却对她有了最清晰的回忆。事实上，那感觉甚至（几乎）超越了记忆；是一种瞬间且无可辩驳的印象。说那是一场‘相遇’可能言之过重，但其中确实有某些东西让人忍不住想用这些词来描述。仿佛是悲伤的消散移除了某种障碍。”
“ I believe I can make sense of it. You can’tsee anything properly while you eyes are blurred with tears. You can’t in most things, get what you want ifyou want it too desperately:” “我想我可以理解这一点。你无法在泪眼模糊中看清任何事物。同样，在大多数情况下，如果你过于迫切地渴望某样东西，你反而无法得到它。”
“ and so, perhaps, with God. I have graduallybeen coming to feel that the door is no longer shut and bolted. Was it my own frantic need that slammed it inmy face? The time when there is noting at all in your should except a cry forhelp may be just the time when God can’t give it;” “也许，与上帝的关系也是如此。我渐渐感到那扇门不再是紧闭和反锁的。会不会是我自己狂热的需求把门砰地关上了？当你的灵魂里只有求助的呐喊时，那或许正是上帝无法回应的时候。”
“ on the other hand, ‘ Knock and it shall be opened’ But does knocking mean hammering and kicking the door like a maniac?... Afterall, you must have a capacity to receive, or even omnipotence can’t give. Perhaps your own passion temporarily destroys the capacity” “另一方面，‘叩门，就必给你开门。’但叩门是否意味着像疯子一样用力猛敲猛踢呢？毕竟，你必须有接纳的能力，否则即便是全能者也无法施予。或许正是你自己的狂热一时破坏了这种能力。”
“ God has not been trying an experiment on my faith or love in order to find out their quality. He knew it already. It was I who didn’t…. He always knew that my temple was a house of cards. His only way of making me realize the fact was to knock it down. “上帝并不是在我的信心或爱心上做实验来测试它们的质量，祂早已知道它们。不知道的是我自己。祂一直知道我的圣殿是一座纸牌屋，而祂唯一能让我认识到这一点的方法就是将它推倒。”
在书本的最后一章：
“Turned to God, my mind no longer meets that locked door; turned to H., it no longer meets that vacuum—nor all that fuss about my mental image of her”“转向上帝时，我的思绪不再碰到那扇紧锁的门；转向H.时，我也不再感到那种虚空，也不再纠结于自己对她的心理形象的种种烦恼。”
The notes have been about myself, and about H., and about God. In that order. The order and the proportions exactly what they ought not to have been.”“这些笔记谈论的是我自己、H.和上帝，顺序正是它们不该有的那样。
“Praise in due order; of Him(God) as the giver, of her as the gift…”“赞美应有其正确的次序：赞美祂（上帝）为赐予者，赞美她为所赐之礼……”
“Thus us from the garden to the Gardener, fromthe sword to the Simith. To the life-giving Life and the Beauty that makesbeautiful.” “如此，我从花园转向园丁，从剑转向铁匠，转向那赐生命的生命之源，和那使一切美丽得以成为美丽的美。”
书中，作者将H.比作花园（garden）和剑（sword），实际上是指自己的注意力从H.转向上帝（造物主）。The life-giving Life（指上帝，源于耶稣所说的“我是生命”）。其中传达的核心意思是感恩和珍惜：感恩上帝（造物主）赐予H.到作者身边，与其共同经历的幸福时光，这一切都是神所赐的礼物。
谈到自己之前对上帝的“误解”，作者写到：
“… an idea which I would always have theoretically admitted – the idea that I, or any mortal at any time, may be utterly mistaken as to the situation he is really in.” “……一种我理论上一直会承认的观念——即我，或任何凡人，在任何时候，都可能完全误解自己所处的真实境况。”
对比H.的照片 “image”以及作者自己对神的想法, H.的形象(image)并不是H.本身。
“ Myidea of God is not a divine idea. It has to be shattered time after time.He (God) shatters it Himself. “‘我对上帝的观念并非是神圣的观念，它必须一次又一次地被打破，而祂（上帝）亲自打破它。’
“Not my idea of God, but God. Not my idea of H. but H.” ‘不是我对上帝的观念，而是上帝本身；不是我对H.的观念，而是H.本身。’”
作者最后对上帝的顺服与和解
“When I lay these questions before God I get no answer. But a rather special sort of ‘No answer.’ It is not the locked door. I its more like a silent, certainly not uncompassionate, gaze. As though He shook His head not in refusal but wiving the questions. Like , ‘Peace, child, you don’t understand’“当我把这些问题摆在上帝面前时，我没有得到回答。但这是一种相当特别的‘没有回答’。这并不是一扇紧锁的门，而更像是一种静默，绝非无情的注视。仿佛祂轻轻摇头，不是拒绝，而是把这些问题放下，就像在说：‘孩子，心中平安吧，你不明白。’”
