英文版听写~~
I Work as a co-director at a substance abuse and co-occurring mental illness treatment agency.
And not a day goes by that i take that for granted.In 1999,I Was paroled from prison for the second time.for the second time .Apparently,once wasn't enough for me .yeah,it's pretty scary.That's me .
All told ,i'd spent over eight years in prison on probation or on parole for numerous felony drug charges.For ten years ,i woke up smoking crack every morning and went to bed smoking crack every night.I spent most of my time trying to escape the helpless,hopeless reality of my life by getting high.
On the worst day ,I remember selling an 8,000-dollar car that my mom had given me that i loved to
my crack dealer for four 20-dollar rocks. That memory is so painful that,actuallly ,this is the first time i have ever shared it publicly.I came as close to giving up on life as one can without jumping off,but something extraordinary happened to me the second time i went to prison,About two months into my
sentence.I got a letter from my ex-wife,telling me that my mother ,the person i profess to love and care about more than anyone in the world,had had a heart attack and was likely going to die.This was not my biological mother who had abandoned me shortly after i was born but the real mother who had raised me as her own for all of my life .I was forced to look at what kind of person i had become and the person i had become was not easy to look at.Because i had become the son who would not be there to comfort his 77-year -old mother,laying all alone in a stark hospital room when he needed him the most because of my selfish need to esacpe my realities by getting high.In a moment of brutal honesty,I had to admit i had been living a lie.I was not the loving son ,or the faithful partner,or the supportive father ,or the good citizen that i had been telling everyone including myself ,for years.It was then that i decided that i needed to try to change my life into something that i and my mother whatever she might be could be proud of .And a tiny seed of change was planted deep inside me.So after my release from prison,I decided i would go back to school because i figured what better place can a middle -aged ,240-pound,black ,ex-convict go,, to blend in than a white-bred communtiy college with a whole bunch of 20-something coeds.But i was fortunate,bacuse at the local junior college where i landed,i ran into two instructores that changed mylife.It was my interactions with these instructors that helped me to regain the self-worth and purpose and meaning and confidence that my drug use and drug-related lifestyle had stolen from me.I will never forget the moment that i realized that I understood that i could create my own miracle.It all started when i went up to one of Professor Sina's office hours,fishing for some special praise because that had become my new drug of choice.She listened to me described some super cool thing i had just done and with no pomp and circumstance.She looked at me and said" Isn't it amazing ,B.J. what a person can do when they start believing in themselives.And then ,as if nothing special had happened,she turned back to her desk at what she was doing while i walked away from that office hour dazed and confused,and wondering what had happened ,I was also a little pissed because she hadn't fed my new habit.But i was forced to think about what had happened and what didi it mean and importantly ,that seed of change that was deep inside me start to stir, a couple months later,while taking a test,Professor Miller walked by my desk and dropped off an application that i later discovered was to the masters of counseling program at sacramento State University .So after the test,i hurried up to his office hour and ran into his office and held uu the application and very obtusely said"what's this ?"And without hesitation ,he responded" i am quite confident in your ability to read .so i am sure you can figure that out on your own. 'So i brilliantly followed that up with an equally obtuse question,I said,"so do you think i can do this ?"And with patience but no special fanfare.he looked at me and said" of course"And then ,he too turned back around to his desk signaling that we were done.And again ,i stumbled away from an office hour,dazed and comfused.But this time ,the seeds of believing in myself that had been planted in my garden of self-doubt took root and started to grow .In a moment ,i realized ,that the only person left to believe in me that needed to believe in me was me .
As my tears started to well up in my eyes for the first time since i had left prison.I felt free,after 3 years,i finally felt free of the mental and emotionals shackles cuasede by the shame and the pain and the despair of my years of drug use.For years ,i had been ,i and people like me ,we were been told" once and addict,always an addict'" once a criminal ,always a criminal.'"one a loser,always a loser' But i realized that was only tre if you believed it . I had learned the hard way how parelyzing self-doubt can be .It contributes to people choosing misery over joy and emptiness over fulfillment and imprisonment over freedom and imprisonment over freedom and unnecessarily so .In 2006,only 7 years afteri walked off the yard at corcoran state prison .I walked across a stage,and I wa conferred my doctorate in clinical psychology .And sitting in the middle of the third row was a woman who had spent countless,sleepless nights worrying about her son .That woman was my then 85-year-old mother who did not die while i was in prison but lived to see me become the man she always believed i could be .Prior to 1999,this was my life ,withour hope or purpose,Today,this is my life ,now ,i want to say here that I 'm often frustrated when i hear people attribute a person's successful recovery or rehabilitation to a miracle as if their hard work and perseverance had nothing to do with it .I needed to say that ,because it was regaining my belief in myself that gave me the power to change the direction of my life .And it is what allows me to now provide hope to others facing similar challenges,because i am living proof that a person's past does not have to define their future.Now you don't have to go to prison ,to learn the lessons i have ,in fact, i really would not recomment it.
But know this,we do have a choose whether we want to have our past define us or refine us,And as I tell the thousands of individuals struggling with addictions and other painful life challenges that come throuth our clinic,you do not have to wait for a miracle,you can create you own miracle .
花了两个小时，算是完成一个小听写。
明天写一下中文版
逃避很简单，依赖也很简单，被迫审视，重新开始确实很艰难
讲述人为了母亲重新开始自己的生活，举步维艰
