2017.7.20
Words and phrase
1.Everything is a blur.
blur:something that you cannot see clearly 模糊的东西
e.g.If I don’t wear my glasses, everything is a blur.
2.If you'd apply yourself like your older sister does, you'd do better and then you'd like school.
Apply yourself: to work very hard on something for a long time
e.g. In order to get a good mark in your final exam, you need to apply yourself.
3.Empathic listening gets inside another person's frame of reference.
frame of reference: a particular set of beliefs, ideas or experiences that affects how a person understands or judges sth(影响人理解和判断事物的)信仰和准则
e.g. Everyone has his own frame of reference.
4.I really tried to put myself in his shoes.
in sb’s shoes: in someone else’s situation, especially a bad one
e.g. Put yourself in his shoes, you will understand him deeply.
Thoughts
habit5----Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood
看到这里还是有所触动了一下,我们总是喜欢以"我是为你好"的态度去沟通,实质上是这只是自己的"一面之词",是根据自己的情况而言,根本就没有理解到对方的真实需求与感受,没有站在对方的角度来看待问题,去切身体会,最后是你在"苦口婆心",但根本打不动不了别人的心。就如我有一个很要好的朋友,我总是劝他多阅读,不要老是一有时间就玩游戏。以"为他好"的理由,不断的跟他说,多阅读可以自我提升,但最后发现根本就没有用处,他就是左耳进,右耳出。现在我明白,我是以自身的角度去站在他的处境上,我认为阅读不可或缺,所以多阅读总是有好处的。但我并没理解他,没有明白他不喜欢阅读,所以再怎么努力也是徒劳一场。
要先有共鸣的理解,才能处理好一切的事情。