今天送小宝上幼儿园,我给她说“让老师牵着你的小手,跟着老师到幼儿园去玩吧” 。两岁多的孩子背着一个大大的书包(书包都到她的腿肚那儿了)拉着老师的手进了幼儿园,头也不回地走了,反倒是我万般不舍心头酸酸的,泪水抑制不住地流了出来。之前想像的撕心裂肺的分离场面竟然没有出现。当时想到了一直喜欢的龙应台的文章《目送》中广为流传的那段话。”所谓父女母子一场,只不过意味着,你和他的缘分就是今生今世不断地在目送他的背影渐行渐远。你站在小路的这一端,看着他逐渐消失在小路转弯的地方,而且,他用背影默默地告诉你,不用追”。
我的两个宝贝,一个要离开家到千里之外去上大学,一个离开从未离开的家去上幼儿园。我们当父母的尽心尽力养育孩子,努力地托举他们去追求更好的生活。人们说老师要甘为人梯,当父母又何尝不是呢!父母不能把孩子当成自己的私人物品,他们有自己的路要走,就像纪伯伦的那首诗《致孩子》说的那样,你的孩子不是你的孩子,他们因你而来却不是为你而来。
《致孩子》
纪伯伦
Your children are not your children.
你的儿女,其实不是你的儿女。
They are the sons and daughters of life’s longing for itself.
他们是生命对于自身渴望而诞生的孩子。
They come through you but not from you,
他们借助你来到这个世界,却并非因你而来。
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
他们在你身旁,却并不属于你。
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
你可以给予他们的是你的爱,却不是你的想法,
For they have their own thoughts.
因为他们有自己的思想。
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
你可以庇护他们的身体,却不是他们的灵魂,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
因为他们的灵魂属于明天,
Which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
属于你做梦也无法到达的明天。
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you,
你可以拼尽全力,变得像他们一样,却不要让他们变得和你一样,
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
因为生命不会后退,也不会在过去停留。
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth,
你是弓,儿女是从你那里射出的箭,
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
弓箭手望着未来之路上的箭靶,
And he bends you with his might that his arrows may go swift and far.
他用尽力气将你拉开,使他的箭射得又快又远。
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness,
怀着快乐的心情,在弓箭手的手中弯曲吧,
For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so he loves also the bow that is stable.
因为他爱这一路飞翔的箭,也爱那无比稳定的弓。