For someone we haven't seen for a while and we miss for a longer while, it might be better we just stand where we are and waiting for them to a rescue. At least this is how I feel at the moment. He never talks to me directly, maybe I am a bad friend boring him too much which means a sin to him. I am the sin, and I feel sinful. For three months ever since I know him I have been paralyzed and numbed, like a dandelion drifting in wind, without the least idea where my destination is. Now he comes, he comes at his will, at hearing my reckon, at the wrong time. I shall greet, with welcoming hug, and winking eyes. He winks too god he's always good at it, proper, gentle and never cross the line. What we gonna do next, we dine we talk we laugh we satire we pretend the friendship is as solid as it should be, though inside I feel so pale and my thoughts slip away from time to time. You see this is the problem, our expectations for this relationship vary, he need some aquantance admirer someone bail out his confidence, while I need a friend that to whom anything I want can be spoken. Can we stop talking politics god it's so dirty, can we say something funny instead I feel like I'm dying if we continue this topic, yes of course we can but do you dare to admit you the one who first start this damn tedious conversation. Well collecting my thoughts I am back to focus on his stories of traveling days. They are as tasty as before, as our dishes do. At the end the reunion he brings out a bag, oh yes thanks to my friend I know what he gonna do, yes this is also why we are here for.

I can't tell you what it is, coz I haven't been to that dinner, shall I ever be there I don't know right now. But if we'll ever meet one night, I'll say to him Ich betrachte die Sterne, and he'll be curious, and I'll say this exquisitely sounded Deutsch means I'm looking at the stars, where comes the star while you're in Beijing and the smug won't allow you any stars. Yes he insists as any time he will do, proudly and expoundly. There are some, well in your eyes. my mouth muttering, but I hear the sound pounding from my left upper body.