✍️文/自由自在慢教练 2021.5.9
这个周末，做了一件有意义的事：把手机上的“微信“和“简书”卸载了。
然后，我看了一部老片：《走出荒野》。导演是《达拉斯买家俱乐部》的 Jean-Marc Vallée。
这部片子2014年改编于一个美国畅销书女作家 Cheryl Strayed出版于2012年的同名真实小说故事：26岁的Sheryl在失去母亲后且离婚后，独自一人完成了1800公里的Pacific Crest Trail太平洋山脊道健行，计94天的自愈之旅。此书出版后作为第一名，连续126周盘踞《纽约时报》畅销图书榜。
原谅我总是拿疫情说事。但是真的是因为这场灾难，让我的视线总是投射在人生的痛苦和自愈上。比如战争片和心理片等等。这部《走出荒野》从头到尾，每一个镜头，每一个眼神，每一声带着痛的呼吸，以及蹒跚的脚步，人在局中之痛无处不在，让我也不断唏嘘。
在片子快结束的时候，Sheryl说了句话：
接着她说：
What if I forgave myself? I thought. What if I forgave myself even though I'd done something I shouldn't have? What if I was a liar and a cheat and there was no excuse for what I'd done other than because it was what I wanted and needed to do?...What if I was never redeemed? What if I already was?
人生中，最苛刻的观众是自己。我们对自己最苛刻。
这让我想起1980年台湾女作家萧丽红的《千江有月千江月》中的一句话：”所有大信给过她的痛苦，贞观都在这离寺下山的月夜路上，将它还天，还地，还诸神佛。”
Of course, heroin could be had there too, I thought. But the thing was I didn't want it. Maybe I never really had. I'd finally come to understand what it had been: a yearning for a way out, when actually what I wanted to find was a way in. I was there now, or close.
“也许滥交，吸毒本身也是一个个课程，就是为了在我的人生里教会我成为最好的我，现在的我。我最后才明白，那时，我的迷茫正是因为我要一条入世的路，却看起来象是在逃离。“
来自Oprah奥普拉的评语：That is the essence of what everybody's searching for—a way in. Everybody who thinks they're looking for a way out? They're looking for a way in. Is that not brilliant, or what?
And how it would be only then that the meaning of my hike would unfold inside of me, the secret I'd always told myself finally revealed.
“究竟是怎样的神秘，让这次旅行最后展示了真实的我的时候，我一直告诉自己的秘密才被真正揭开。“
其实，我也曾经过有一个粉红色的背囊，比Sheryl背的小了几号。我背着它走了5年的东南亚。那些年，每到夏天，我都带着它走在越南，泰国的乡野田间。但是真正的背囊卸下，15年后而已。
"The father's job is to teach his children how to be warriors, to give them the confidence to get on the horse to ride into battle when it's necessary to do so. If you don't get that from your father, you have to teach yourself."
来自Oprah奥普拉的评语：This was a big aha moment for me—if you don't get that confidence, you've got to teach yourself, and if you don't teach yourself, you can never win a battle. That's why, into my forties and fifties, I was still having trouble with confrontation, because I was never taught that.
疫情没有结束，人生还在继续。
请继续寻找积累“勇敢”，这是人生的硬通货，唯一的，始终的硬通货。
～End～
