“女人？”他以为白鹿温妲已给了梅里很好的教训——远离一切女土匪。“御林兄弟会中也有个女人。”

“A woman?” He would have thought that the White Fawn would have taught Merrett to stay clear of outlaw wenches. “There was a woman in the Kingswood Brotherhood as well.”

“我知道她。”怎会不知道，她言下之意十分明显，她在我丈夫屁股上留了记号。“都说白鹿年轻漂亮，这女人可不同。农民们说她的脸完全毁伤，眼睛十分恐怖。他们声称她是土匪的总头目。”

“I know of her.” How not, her tone suggested, when she left her mark upon my husband? “The White Fawn was young and fair, they say. This hooded woman is neither. The peasants would have us believe that her face was torn and scarred, and her eyes terrible to look upon. They claim she led the outlaws.”

“总头目？”难以置信。“贝里·唐德利恩与红袍僧……”

“Led them?” Jaime found that hard to believe. “Beric Dondarrion and the red priest …”

“……没人见过。”玛丽亚夫人肯定地说。

“… were not seen.” Lady Mariya sounded certain.

“唐德利恩死了，”壮猪道，“魔山用一把匕首刺穿了他的眼睛，有人看见的。”

“Dondarrion’s dead,” said Strongboar. “The Mountain drove a knife through his eye, we have men with us who saw it.”

“这只是一种说法，”亚当·马尔布兰提出异议，“有人认为贝里大人是杀不死的。”

“That’s one tale,” said Addam Marbrand. “Others will tell you that Lord Beric can’t be killed.”

“哈尔温爵士认定谣言不足以采信，”阿蕊丽夫人用手指玩弄发辫，“他答应我，要把贝里大人的人头献上。他真是个大英雄。”透过层层泪水，她的脸红了。

“Ser Harwyn says those tales are lies.” Lady Amerei wound a braid around her finger. “He has promised me Lord Beric’s head. He’s very gallant.” She was blushing beneath her tears.

詹姆想起了自己献给皮雅的人头，耳中回荡着弟弟的嘲笑。何不给女人鲜花呢？提利昂会这么讲。说实话，让他对哈尔温·普棱爵士下评语的话，“英雄”二字是无论如何不沾边的。普棱家的兄弟们高大肥胖，脸红脖子粗，精力充沛，喜欢吵闹，爱笑、易怒，也易于和解；哈尔温大不相同，他眼神坚硬，沉默寡言，不懂宽恕之道……虽然战锤使得很好。他是个高手，却不能赢得爱戴。然而女人想的是……詹姆瞥瞥阿蕊丽夫人，什么也没说。

Jaime thought back on the head he’d given to Pia. He could almost hear his little brother chuckle. Whatever became of giving women flowers? Tyrion might have asked. He would have had a few choice words for Harwyn Plumm as well, though gallant would not have been one of them. Plumm’s brothers were big, fleshy fellows with thick necks and red faces; loud and lusty, quick to laugh, quick to anger, quick to forgive. Harwyn was a different sort of Plumm; hard-eyed and taciturn, unforgiving … and deadly, with his hammer in his hand. A good man to command a garrison, but not a man to love. Although … Jaime gazed at Lady Amerei.

仆人们把鱼端上来，河里的梭子鱼，用捣碎的坚果与草药烹调。蓝赛尔的夫人先尝了一口，大加赞赏，命仆人将最好的部分给詹姆。趁仆人们将鱼放在他面前的机会，阿蕊丽夫人越过丈夫的座位，把手搁在詹姆的金手上。“您一定能杀掉贝里大人，詹姆爵士，正如从前杀那个微笑骑士。求您了，大人，我求您，留下来帮我们对付贝里大人和猎狗吧。”她苍白的指头缠绕在他的金手指上。

The serving men were bringing out the fish course, a river pike baked in a crust of herbs and crushed nuts. Lancel’s lady tasted it, approved, and commanded that the first portion be served to Jaime. As they set the fish before him, she leaned across her husband’s place to touch his golden hand. “You could kill Lord Beric, Ser Jaime. You slew the Smiley Knight. Please, my lord, I beg you, stay and help us with Lord Beric and the Hound.” Her pale fingers caressed his golden ones.

你以为我能感觉到你指尖的触摸吗？　“微笑骑士是被拂晓神剑杀掉的，夫人，即亚瑟·戴恩爵士。他是个比我好太多的骑士。”詹姆抽回金手，转向玛丽亚夫人，“黑瓦德一直追到哪里？”

Does she think that I can feel that? “The Sword of the Morning slew the Smiling Knight, my lady. Ser Arthur Dayne, a better knight than me.” Jaime pulled back his golden fingers and turned once more to Lady Mariya. “How far did Black Walder track this hooded woman and her men?”

“他的狗追逐那女人和她手下的气味到了女巫沼泽北部，”老妇人说，“他发誓最多只差半日路程了，但这群人最终消失在了颈泽里。”

“His hounds picked up their scent again north of Hag’s Mire,” the older woman told him. “He swears that he was no more than half a day behind them when they vanished into the Neck.”

“让他们在那边烂掉吧，”肯洛斯爵士兴高采烈地叫道，“诸神慈悲，教他们被流沙吞噬或给蜥狮吃掉。”

“Let them rot there,” declared Ser Kennos cheerfully. “If the gods are good, they’ll be swallowed up in quicksand or gobbled down by lizard-lions.”

“给吃青蛙的煮了也好，”丹威尔·佛雷爵士声称，“泽地人不收容土匪。”

“Or taken in by frogeaters,” said Ser Danwell Frey. “I would not put it past the crannogmen to shelter outlaws.”

“泽地人不会，”玛丽亚夫人说，“但许多河间地的领主会，他们都在暗中协助贝里大人。”

“Would that it were only them,” said Lady Mariya. “Some of the river lords are hand in glove with Lord Beric’s men as well.”

“老百姓们也串联一气，”她女儿又开始抽鼻子，“哈尔温爵士说他们不仅藏匿土匪，供养土匪，而且还撒谎，以隐瞒土匪的行踪。您能想象吗？他们竟对自己的领主撒谎！”

“The smallfolk too,” sniffed her daughter. “Ser Harwyn says they hide them and feed them, and when he asks where they’ve gone, they lie. They lie to their own lords!”

“把他们舌头拔掉。”壮猪建议。

“Have their tongues out,” urged Strongboar.

“是啊，这样他们就能说真话了。”詹姆讥刺道，“听着，需要用人，先得赢取人心。当年对付御林兄弟会时，亚瑟·戴恩正是这么做的。他把军粮分给平民，替民众向伊里斯王诉苦，他拓展了属于各村落的牧场范围，甚至为平民赢得了每年砍伐一定数量的树木和在秋天猎取几只国王的鹿的权利。森林里的居民曾把托因当成保护神，如今亚瑟爵士为他们做的比兄弟会能做的多得多，最终他们纷纷倒向官家，平叛工作顺利多了。”

“Good luck getting answers then,” said Jaime. “If you want their help, you need to make them love you. That was how Arthur Dayne did it, when we rode against the Kingswood Brotherhood. He paid the smallfolk for the food we ate, brought their grievances to King Aerys, expanded the grazing lands around their villages, even won them the right to fell a certain number of trees each year and take a few of the king’s deer during the autumn. The forest folk had looked to Toyne to defend them, but Ser Arthur did more for them than the Brotherhood could ever hope to do, and won them to our side. After that, the rest was easy.”

“队长大人说得在理，”玛丽亚夫人道，“若是老百姓不能像爱戴我父亲和祖父那样爱戴蓝赛尔，领地终究不会安宁。”

“The Lord Commander speaks wisely,” said Lady Mariya. “We shall never be rid of these outlaws until the smallfolk come to love Lancel as much as they once loved my father and grandfather.”

詹姆望向表弟空空如也的座位。光凭祷告，蓝赛尔不能赢得任何人的爱戴。

Jaime glanced at his cousin’s empty place. Lancel will never win their love by praying, though.

阿蕊丽夫人撅起嘴唇，“詹姆爵士，我求您，不要抛弃我们。我的夫君需要您，我也一样。在这个恐怖的年代，有时我晚上害怕得睡不着觉。”

Lady Amerei put on a pout. “Ser Jaime, I pray you, do not abandon us. My lord has need of you, and so do I. These are such fearful times. Some nights I can hardly sleep, for fear.”

“我必须守护国王，夫人。”

“My place is with the king, my lady.”

“让我来吧，”壮猪提出，“攻打奔流城对我而言还不过瘾。再说，贝里·唐德利恩非我对手，在比武大会上他披着可爱的披风，但身材瘦弱又缺乏经验。”

“I’ll come,” offered Strongboar. “Once we’re done at Riverrun, I’ll be itching for another fight. Not that Beric Dondarrion is like to give me one. I recall the man from tourneys past. A comely lad in a pretty cloak, he was. Slight and callow.”

“那是他死前的事了，”年轻的阿伍德·佛雷爵士道，“百姓们说，死亡改变了他。你能杀他，但他不会死。你怎么和有不死之身的人交手呢？还有猎狗，他在盐场镇杀了二十个人。”

“That was before he died,” said young Ser Arwood Frey. “Death changed him, the smallfolk say. You can kill him, but he won’t stay dead. How do you fight a man like that? And there’s the Hound as well. He slew twenty men at Saltpans.”

壮猪捧腹大笑：“二十个胖得走不动的店家，二十个吓得尿裤子的脯人，二十个拿讨饭碗的乞丐帮兄弟。不会是二十个全副武装骑士，不会是我。”

Strongboar guffawed. “Twenty fat innkeeps, maybe. Twenty serving men pissing in their breeches. Twenty begging brothers armed with bowls. Not twenty knights. Not me.”

“盐场镇正是某位骑士的领地，”阿伍德爵士坚持，“当克里冈和他那群疯狗们洗劫镇子时，骑士本人却躲在城内不敢出来。您没见过当时的惨状，爵士，报告传到孪河城后，我跟哈瑞斯·海伊、他弟弟唐纳尔以及五十名士兵和弓箭手即刻南下清剿。我们以为是贝里大人干的，打算就此将他抓获归案，来到盐场镇才发现全镇除了城堡，什么都没了。老昆西爵士吓得不轻，甚至不愿为我们打开城门，只肯在城垛上搭话。遍地骸骨与灰烬，全镇不复存在，猎狗烧毁了所有建筑，杀了所有的人，哈哈大笑着离开。特别是女人……你无法相信他对女人们做了些什么。在餐桌上，我不想说，当时看得我呕吐。”

“There is a knight at Saltpans,” Ser Arwood insisted. “He hid behind his walls whilst Clegane and his mad dogs ravaged through his town. You have not seen the things he did, ser. I have. When the reports reached the Twins, I rode down with Harys Haigh and his brother Donnel and half a hundred men, archers and men-at-arms. We thought it was Lord Beric’s work, and hoped to find his trail. All that remains of Saltpans is the castle, and old Ser Quincy so frightened he would not open his gates, but shouted down at us from his battlements. The rest is bones and ashes. A whole town. The Hound put the buildings to the torch and the people to the sword and rode off laughing. The women … you would not believe what he did to some of the women. I will not speak of it at table. It made me sick to see.”

“听到这些的时候，我哭了。”阿蕊丽夫人倾诉。

“I cried when I heard,” said Lady Amerei.

詹姆吮了口酒，“你能确定是猎狗？”他们说的更像格雷果而非桑铎，桑铎此人纵然强横残忍，但他不是克里冈家中真正的怪物。

Jaime sipped his wine. “What makes you certain it was the Hound?” What they were describing sounded more like Gregor’s work than Sandor’s. Sandor had been hard and brutal, yes, but it was his big brother who was the real monster in House Clegane.

“有目击证人，”阿伍德爵士道，“他的头盔很容易辨认，令人印象深刻。少数几个人活了下来　被他强暴的少女，几个躲躲藏藏的男孩，被烧焦的梁柱压着的女人，以及在远处的渔船上观望这场屠杀的渔民……”

“He was seen,” Ser Arwood said. “That helm of his is not easily mistaken, nor forgotten, and there were a few who survived to tell the tale. The girl he raped, some boys who hid, a woman we found trapped beneath a blackened beam, the fisherfolk who watched the butchery from their boats …”

“屠杀？这不是屠杀。”玛丽亚夫人轻声说，“把这称为屠杀简直是对屠夫的侮辱。盐场镇的悲剧是披人皮的野兽干的。”

“Do not call it butchery,” Lady Mariya said softly. “That gives insult to honest butchers everywhere. Saltpans was the work of some fell beast in human skin.”

夫人，这正是野兽的时代，詹姆心想，这个时代属于狮子、奔狼和疯狗，属于渡鸦与食腐乌鸦。

This is a time for beasts, Jaime reflected, for lions and wolves and angry dogs, for ravens and carrion crows.

“真是恶贯满盈，”壮猪把酒杯满上，“玛丽亚夫人、阿蕊丽夫人，若您们不嫌弃，等我打下奔流城，即刻回来抓捕猎狗。我不怕狗，我会出力为您们杀了他。”

“Evil work.” Strongboar filled his cup again. “Lady Mariya, Lady Amerei, your distress has moved me. You have my word, once Riverrun has fallen I shall return to hunt down the Hound and kill him for you. Dogs do not frighten me.”

难说。他们两个都强壮有力，但桑铎·克里冈的速度更快，而且打起架来比李勒·克雷赫野蛮。

This one should. Both men were large and powerful, but Sandor Clegane was much quicker, and fought with a savagery that Lyle Crakehall could not hope to match.

阿蕊丽夫人的感动溢于言表，“您是个真正的骑士，李勒爵士，您向危难中的妇人伸出援手。”

Lady Amerei was thrilled, however. “You are a true knight, Ser Lyle, to help a lady in distress.”

她至少没管自己叫“处女”。詹姆去够杯子，却打翻了，酒水被亚麻桌布享用，红色污迹迅速扩散，同伴们佯作不见。这不过是贵族餐桌上的礼貌，他安慰自己，心里明白大家都在可怜他。于是詹姆粗暴地站起来，“夫人，请原谅。”

At least she did not call herself “a maiden.” Jaime reached for his cup and knocked it over. The linen tablecloth drank the wine. As the red stain spread, his companions all pretended not to notice. High table courtesy, he told himself, but it tasted just like pity. He rose abruptly. “My lady. Pray excuse me.”

阿蕊丽夫人有些不知所措，“您这就走了？鹿肉正餐都没上呢，还有填满韭菜和蘑菇的阉鸡。”

Lady Amerei looked stricken. “Would you leave us? There’s venison to come, and capons stuffed with leeks and mushrooms.”

“毫无疑问，它们都非常美味，但我实在吃不下了。我去会会表弟。”詹姆鞠了一躬，匆匆离开宴席。

“Very fine, no doubt, but I could not eat another bite. I need to see my cousin.” Bowing, Jaime left them to their food.

更多人在庭院里用餐。麻雀们燃起十几堆篝火，以抵御黄昏的寒意，肥厚的腊肠在火上滋滋作响。他们大概有一百名。全是些无用的嘴巴，詹姆不清楚表弟到底拿出了多少腊肠，等腊肠吃完后打算怎么办。除非马上丰收，否则这城堡冬天里只有老鼠可吃。时至深秋，要想获得丰收，谈何容易。

Men were eating in the yard as well. The sparrows had gathered round a dozen cookfires to warm their hands against the chill of dusk and watch fat sausages spit and sizzle above the flames. There had to be a hundred of them. Useless mouths. Jaime wondered how many sausages his cousin had laid by and how he intended to feed the sparrows once they were gone. They will be eating rats by winter, unless they can get a harvest in. This late in autumn, the chances of another harvest were not good.

圣堂建于城堡内院，在木构架上涂抹灰泥搭造，七面墙壁，没有窗户，有雕刻装饰的木门和瓦片屋顶。三个麻雀坐在台阶上，当詹姆靠近时，他们站起来。“你想上哪儿去，大人？”三人中最矮小的人问，他胡子留得最多。

He found the sept off the castle’s inner ward; a windowless, seven-sided, half-timbered building with carved wood doors and a tiled roof. Three sparrows sat upon its steps. When Jaime approached, they rose. “Where you going, m’lord?” asked one. He was the smallest of the three, but he had the biggest beard.

“进去。”

“Inside.”

“大人在里面祈祷。”

“His lordship’s in there, praying.”

“大人是我的表弟。”

“His lordship is my cousin.”

“是的，大人，”另一个麻雀接口，他是个秃头壮汉，一只眼睛上方描着七芒星，“但您不能打扰您表弟祈祷。”

“Well, then, m’lord,” said a different sparrow, a huge bald man with a seven-pointed star painted over one eye, “you won’t want to bother your cousin at his prayers.”

“蓝赛尔正在祈求天上的天父给予指引，”第三个麻雀说，这人没长胡子。詹姆乍以为是男孩，不料声音却是女声，这人穿着没有形状的破衣服，外套生锈锁甲，“他在为已故总主教和所有死去的人们的灵魂祈祷。”

“Lord Lancel is asking the Father Above for guidance,” said the third sparrow, the beardless one. A boy, Jaime had thought, but her voice marked her for a woman, dressed in shapeless rags and a shirt of rusted mail. “He is praying for the soul of the High Septon and all the others who have died.”

“他们明天也不会活过来，”詹姆告诉她，“而天父的时间比我空闲。你可知道我是谁？”

“They’ll still be dead tomorrow,” Jaime told her. “The Father Above has more time than I do. Do you know who I am?”

“领主罢了。”眼睛上画有星星的大个子说。

“Some lord,” said the big man with the starry eye.

“残废而已。”胡子稠密的小个子道。

“Some cripple,” said the small one with the big beard.

“你是弑君者，”女人宣布，“但我们不是国君，只是穷人集会的成员——听着，未经大人允许，你别想进去。”她拿出带尖刺的棍棒，小个子举起斧头。

“The Kingslayer,” said the woman, “but we’re no kings, just Poor Fellows, and you can’t go in unless his lordship says you can.” She hefted a spiked club, and the small man raised an axe.

他们身后的门突然开了。“朋友们，让我表哥进来，”蓝赛尔柔声说，“我正等着他。”

The doors behind them opened. “Let my cousin pass in peace, friends,” Lancel said softly. “I have been expecting him.”

麻雀们立即站开。

The sparrows moved aside.

蓝赛尔比在君临时更瘦了。他打赤脚，穿一件用未染色的羊毛做的粗糙外衣，看起来像乞丐不像领主。除了顶门正中，他的头发都已剃了干净，胡子倒长了出来，再称之为桃子毛就是在侮辱桃子，但尽管它们一直围拢到耳朵边，颜色却是花白的。

Lancel looked even thinner than he had at King’s Landing. He was barefoot, and dressed in a plain, roughspun tunic of undyed wool that made him look more like a beggar than a lord. The crown of his head had been shaved smooth, but his beard had grown out a little. To call it peach fuzz would have given insult to the peach. It went queerly with the white hair around his ears.

“表弟，”房门关闭后，詹姆说，“妈的，你失去理智了吗？”

“Cousin,” said Jaime when they were alone within the sept, “have you lost your bloody wits?”

“我找到了信仰。”

“I prefer to say I’ve found my faith.”

“你父亲在哪里？”

“Where is your father?”

“走了，我们吵了架。”蓝赛尔在天父的祭坛前跪下。“你会跟我一起祈祷吗，詹姆？”

“Gone. We quarreled.” Lancel knelt before the altar of his other Father. “Will you pray with me, Jaime?”

“如果我好好祈祷，天父会不会还我一只手？”

“If I pray nicely, will the Father give me a new hand?”

“不会。但战士会赐予你勇气，铁匠会赐予你力量，老妪会赐予你智慧。”

“No. But the Warrior will give you courage, the Smith will lend you strength, and the Crone will give you wisdom.”

“我只要一只右手。”七神高高耸立在精雕的祭坛上，黝黑的木雕在烛光下闪烁。空气中有一点微弱的熏香。“你就在这儿睡？”

“It’s a hand I need.” The seven gods loomed above carved altars, the dark wood gleaming in the candlelight. A faint smell of incense hung in the air. “You sleep down here?”

“每晚，我都把床铺在不同的祭坛前，七神带给我不同的愿景。”

“Each night I make my bed beneath a different altar, and the Seven send me visions.”

受神祝福的贝勒就号称能目睹什么愿景。尤其是绝食的时候。“你有多久没吃饭了？”

Baelor the Blessed once had visions too. Especially when he was fasting. “How long has it been since you’ve eaten?”

“信仰为我提供所需。”

“My faith is all the nourishment I need.”

“好吧，信仰好比粥，得添加牛奶与蜂蜜。”

“Faith is like porridge. Better with milk and honey.”

“我梦见你会来。在梦中，你知道我做过什么，知道我的罪恶。所以你杀了我。”

“I dreamed that you would come. In the dream you knew what I had done. How I’d sinned. You killed me for it.”

“你这样绝食，迟早会把自己饿死，用不着别人动手。你难道不清楚，受神祝福的贝勒就是这么进棺材的吗？”

“You’re more like to kill yourself with all this fasting. Didn’t Baelor the Blessed fast himself onto a bier?”

“《七星圣经》有云：凡人性命风中之烛也，徐徐清风皆能熄灭。在这个世上，死亡离我们并不遥远，七层地狱等待着那些未能悔悟的罪人。跟我一起祈祷吧，詹姆。”

“Our lives are candle flames, says The Seven-Pointed Star. Any errant puff of wind can snuff us out. Death is never far in this world, and seven hells await sinners who do not repent their sins. Pray with me, Jaime.”

“如果我做了，你能答应我，喝一碗麦粥吗？”见老表不答，詹姆叹口气。“你应该和老婆一起睡，而不是心向少女。要让这座城堡长治久安，你必须产下戴瑞血统的子嗣。”

“If I do, will you eat a bowl of porridge?” When his coz did not answer, Jaime sighed. “You should be sleeping with your wife, not with the Maid. You need a son with Darry blood if you want to keep this castle.”

“这里不过是一堆冰冷的石头，我没想过要它。我只想……”蓝赛尔抖了抖，“七神宽恕，我只想成为你。”

“A pile of cold stones. I never asked for it. I never wanted it. I only wanted …” Lancel shuddered. “Seven save me, but I wanted to be you.”

詹姆忍不住笑了，“那敢情好，我这人好歹比受神祝福的贝勒正常些。听我说，戴瑞城需要一只真正的狮子，老表，你的佛雷小妻子也需要。知道吗？一提起顽石，她两腿间就不安分。就算她现在还没跟他上床，那也是指日可待的事。”

Jaime had to laugh. “Better me than Blessed Baelor. Darry needs a lion, coz. So does your little Frey. She gets moist between the legs every time someone mentions Hardstone. If she hasn’t bedded him yet, she will soon.”

“如果她真喜欢他，我祝愿他们爱情美满。”

“If she loves him, I wish them joy of one another.”

“狮子不容忍姘头。毕竟，你娶了那女孩为妻。”

“A lion shouldn’t have horns. You took the girl to wife.”

“我说了几句空洞的话，给了她一张红色斗篷，只为了让父亲开心。未经圆满的婚姻算不得真正的婚姻。贝勒王也曾与妹妹戴安娜成亲，但他们没有过夫妻生活，等他称王后，便立刻废除了婚约。”

“I said some words and gave her a red cloak, but only to please Father. Marriage requires consummation. King Baelor was made to wed his sister Daena, but they never lived as man and wife, and he put her aside as soon as he was crowned.”

“如果他闭上眼睛，狠狠地操她，国家便会减少许多纷乱与争夺，谢谢，我在历史书上读过这一章。听着，再怎么做，人民也不会把你当成受神祝福的贝勒转世。”

“The realm would have been better served if he had closed his eyes and fucked her. I know enough history to know that. In any case, you’re not like to be taken for Baelor the Blessed.”

“不会，”蓝赛尔承认，“他是不世出的高尚灵魂，纯粹、勇敢而清白，不受尘世的邪恶玷污。我只是个罪人，今生今世都无法还清。”

“No,” Lancel allowed. “He was a rare spirit, pure and brave and innocent, untouched by all the evils of the world. I am a sinner, with much and more to atone for.”

詹姆将手按到表弟肩上，“说到罪恶，你算什么呢，老表？我杀了自己的国王。”

Jaime put his hand on his cousin’s shoulder. “What do you know of sin, coz? I killed my king.”

“勇士用剑，懦夫用酒，我们都是弑君者，爵士。”

“The brave man slays with a sword, the craven with a wineskin. We are both kingslayers, ser.”

“劳勃只是个篡夺者。有人甚至认为，雄鹿乃是狮子天生的猎物。”詹姆透过肌肤感觉到表弟突出的骨头……还有别的……蓝赛尔穿着苦行用的钢毛衬衣。“你做了什么，需要如此赎罪？告诉我。”

“Robert was no true king. Some might even say that a stag is a lion’s natural prey.” Jaime could feel the bones beneath his cousin’s skin … and something else as well. Lancel was wearing a hair shirt underneath his tunic. “What else did you do, to require so much atonement? Tell me.”

表弟低下头颅，热泪滚下脸颊。

His cousin bowed his head, tears running down his cheeks.

泪水给了詹姆所有的答案。“你杀了国王，”他说，“睡了王后。”

Those tears were all the answer Jaime needed. “You killed the king,” he said, “then you fucked the queen.”

“我没有……”

“I never …”

“……没有和我亲爱的老姐上床。”说啊，承认啊！

“… lay with my sweet sister?” Say it. Say it!

“没有把种子洒在……洒在她的……”

“Never spilled my seed in … in her …”

“……身体上？”詹姆提示。

“… cunt?” suggested Jaime.

“……子宫里，”蓝赛尔把话说完。“没撒在里面，便不算叛国。国王死后，我给她安慰。当时你做了俘虏，你父亲出门打仗，而你弟弟……她怕你弟弟，而且是有理由的。你弟弟逼我出卖她。”

“… womb,” Lancel finished. “It is not treason unless you finish inside. I gave her comfort, after the king died. You were a captive, your father was in the field, and your brother … she was afraid of him, and with good reason. He made me betray her.”

“是吗？”蓝赛尔、奥斯蒙·凯特布莱克，还有谁？还有谁？还有月童？“你对她用强了吗？”

“Did he?” Lancel and Ser Osmund and how many more? Was the part about Moon Boy just a gibe? “Did you force her?”

“没有！绝对没有！我爱她，我只想保护她。”

“No! I loved her. I wanted to protect her.”

我只想成为你。他的幻影手指又开始抽搐。姐姐来到白剑塔上恳求他放弃誓言的那一天，在被拒绝之后，她曾笑言自己成百上千次地对他撒谎。詹姆原以为那只是在他伤害了她之后，瑟曦嘴硬而已。看来那是她这辈子对我讲的唯一的真话。

You wanted to be me. His phantom fingers itched. The day his sister had come to White Sword Tower to beg him to renounce his vows, she had laughed after he refused her and boasted of having lied to him a thousand times. Jaime had taken that for a clumsy attempt to hurt him as he’d hurt her. It may have been the only true thing that she ever said to me.

“你千万别对当今太后心生不满，”蓝赛尔求道，“肉体是孱弱的，詹姆，我们之间的罪恶终究没带来伤害。没有……没有留下私生子女。”

“Do not think ill of the queen,” Lancel pleaded. “All flesh is weak, Jaime. No harm came of our sin. No … no bastard.”

“是啊，私生子女是不会从肚子外面长出来的。”他不晓得要是把自己的罪孽向表弟倾诉，要是把那三个被瑟曦分别命名为乔佛里、托曼和弥赛菈的叛国逆种的真相说出来，蓝赛尔会怎么讲。

“No. Bastards are seldom made upon the belly.” He wondered what his cousin would say if he were to confess his own sins, the three treasons Cersei had named Joffrey, Tommen, and Myrcella.

“大战之后，我很生陛下的气，但总主教大人要我宽恕她。”

“I was angry with Her Grace after the battle, but the High Septon said I must forgive her.”

“结果你向他忏悔了所有事情，对吗？”

“You confessed your sins to His High Holiness, did you?”

“我受伤时，他为我祈祷。他是个好人。”

“He prayed for me when I was wounded. He was a good man.”

所以他才一命呜呼，君临城中我亲耳听见了丧钟。詹姆怀疑表弟究竟清不清楚自己的话造成了什么后果。“蓝赛尔，你真他妈蠢。”

He’s a dead man. They rang the bells for him. He wondered if his cousin had any notion what fruit his words had borne. “Lancel, you’re a bloody fool.”

“你说得没错，”蓝赛尔道，“但那个愚蠢的我已经死去，爵士先生。我恳求天父为我指引一条明路，而他响应了我的呼吁。我即将放弃爵位和妻室，你说顽石想接管这一切，我很欢迎。明日我就会返回君临，宣誓为新任总主教大人和七神教团效命，我打算宣誓加入战士之子。”

“You are not wrong,” said Lancel, “but my folly is behind me, ser. I have asked the Father Above to show me the way, and he has. I am renouncing this lordship and this wife. Hardstone is welcome to the both of them, if he likes. On the morrow I will return to King’s Landing and swear my sword to the new High Septon and the Seven. I mean to take vows and join the Warrior’s Sons.”

这孩子果真疯了不成，“战士之子三百年前就被废黜了。”

The boy was not making sense. “The Warrior’s Sons were proscribed three hundred years ago.”

“新任总主教大人恢复了它，他正召唤全国上下所有怀有正义感的骑士，用生命与宝剑捍卫七神。穷人集会也相应地恢复了。”

“The new High Septon has revived them. He’s sent out a call for worthy knights to pledge their lives and swords to the service of the Seven. The Poor Fellows are to be restored as well.”

“铁王座居然允许这种事发生？”坦格利安王朝早期的某位君主花了若干年工夫，才把这两大教团武装镇压下去，詹姆记得这回事，却想不起来那是哪位国王。梅葛？杰赫里斯一世？提利昂一定知道。

“Why would the Iron Throne allow that?” One of the early Targaryen kings had fought for years to suppress the two military orders, Jaime recalled, though he did not remember which. Maegor, perhaps, or the first Jaehaerys. Tyrion would have known.

“总主教大人信中说，托曼国王废除了以往的律法。你想看的话，我可以把信给你。”

“His High Holiness writes that King Tommen has given his consent. I will show you the letter, if you like.”

“即便这是真的……你也别忘了自己的身份，你是凯岩城的狮子，更是国内响当当的诸侯。你有老婆、有城堡、有土地和人民需要你的保护。若诸神慈悲，将来你还能延续血脉。你为何要放弃一切荣华，就为了……为了几句誓言？”

“Even if this is true … you are a lion of the Rock, a lord. You have a wife, a castle, lands to defend, people to protect. If the gods are good, you will have sons of your blood to follow you. Why would you throw all that away for … for some vow?”

“那你又是为什么？”蓝赛尔轻声问。

“Why did you?” asked Lancel softly.

为了荣誉，詹姆想说，为了光辉。然而这并非全部真相，荣誉和光辉固然美妙，但它们加在一起也比不上瑟曦。他不由得哈哈大笑。“你想见的是总主教，还是我亲爱的老姐呢？祈祷吧，老表，用力祈祷吧。”

For honor, Jaime might have said. For glory. That would have been a lie, though. Honor and glory had played their parts, but most of it had been for Cersei. A laugh escaped his lips. “Is it the High Septon you’re running to, or my sweet sister? Pray on that one, coz. Pray hard.”

“你会跟我一起祈祷吗，詹姆？”

“Will you pray with me, Jaime?”

他扫视圣堂，望向渚神。圣母脸上写满慈悲，天父公正而严肃，战士一手握着宝剑，陌客躲在阴影里，非人的面孔隐藏在兜帽底下。若干年以来，我认为自己是战士，瑟曦是少女，没想到她却是陌客，永远隐藏着真面目。“如果你愿意，替我祈祷吧，”他告诉表弟，“我已经记不得祷词了。”

He glanced about the sept, at the gods. The Mother, full of mercy. The Father, stern in judgment. The Warrior, one hand upon his sword. The Stranger in the shadows, his half-human face concealed beneath a hooded mantle. I thought that I was the Warrior and Cersei was the Maid, but all the time she was the Stranger, hiding her true face from my gaze. “Pray for me, if you like,” he told his cousin. “I’ve forgotten all the words.”

当詹姆出门，踱进夜色中时，麻雀们还坐在台阶上。“谢谢，”他对他们说，“我从来没有感觉自己如此虔诚。”

The sparrows were still fluttering about the steps when Jaime stepped back out into the night. “Thank you,” he told them. “I feel ever so much holier now.”

他拿来两把钝剑，找到伊林爵士。

He went and found Ser Ilyn and a pair of swords.

城堡庭院中到处是人，于是他们来到戴瑞的神木林。这里没有麻雀，只有光秃秃沉默的树，黑色的枝条向天空中伸展，枯死的叶子铺了一地。

The castle yard was full of eyes and ears. To escape them, they sought out Darry’s godswood. There were no sparrows there, only trees bare and brooding, their black branches scratching at the sky. A mat of dead leaves crunched beneath their feet.

“看见那扇窗户了吗，爵士？”詹姆举剑指去，“那是雷蒙·戴瑞爵士的卧房。我们从临冬城返回时，劳勃国王就睡在里面，你不记得吗？当初奈德·史塔克的女儿放狼去咬小乔。我姐姐想要那小女孩一只手，这是前朝惯例，对王族动手者，处斩手之刑。劳勃认为她既残酷又疯狂，他们争斗了半夜……好吧，瑟曦动手，劳勃喝酒。午夜过后，王后召我觐见，国王已在密尔地毯上打起了呼噜。我问姐姐要不要把他抱回床上，她告诉我把她抱上床，然后脱去睡袍。于是我越过劳勃的身体，就在他的寝室和姐姐做爱——如果国王当时醒转，我会毫不犹豫地宰了他。他不是第一个死在我手下的国王了……你都知道的，不是吗？”他反手一剑，将树枝劈为两半。“我操她的时候，瑟曦说‘我要’。我以为她指的是我，结果却是要废掉那史塔克女孩，不杀也弄个残废。”好好想一想，我为爱情做了些什么。“于是我星夜点兵出发。史塔克的人先找到女孩，算他们走运，如果教我抓住……”

“Do you see that window, ser?” Jaime used a sword to point. “That was Raymun Darry’s bedchamber. Where King Robert slept, on our return from Winterfell. Ned Stark’s daughter had run off after her wolf savaged Joff, you’ll recall. My sister wanted the girl to lose a hand. The old penalty, for striking one of the blood royal. Robert told her she was cruel and mad. They fought for half the night … well, Cersei fought, and Robert drank. Past midnight, the queen summoned me inside. The king was passed out snoring on the Myrish carpet. I asked my sister if she wanted me to carry him to bed. She told me I should carry her to bed, and shrugged out of her robe. I took her on Raymun Darry’s bed after stepping over Robert. If His Grace had woken I would have killed him there and then. He would not have been the first king to die upon my sword … but you know that story, don’t you?” He slashed at a tree branch, shearing it in half. “As I was fucking her, Cersei cried, ‘I want.’ I thought that she meant me, but it was the Stark girl that she wanted, maimed or dead.” The things I do for love. “It was only by chance that Stark’s own men found the girl before me. If I had come on her first …”

伊林爵士脸上的麻子在火光映照下犹如一个个无底黑洞，犹如詹姆的灵魂。他又发出那种粗嘎的声音。

The pockmarks on Ser Ilyn’s face were black holes in the torchlight, as dark as Jaime’s soul. He made that clacking sound.

他在嘲笑我，詹姆兰尼斯特心想。“你也干过我老姐吗，麻脸杂种！？”他吐口唾沫，“放马过来吧，把鸟嘴闭上，来杀我啊！”

He is laughing at me, realized Jaime Lannister. “For all I know you fucked my sister too, you pock-faced bastard,” he spat out. “Well, shut your bloody mouth and kill me if you can.”