字词精选

1.He said a little sheepishly.

Sheepishly: looking or feeling embarrassed because you have done sth silly or wrong窘迫地；难为情地；不好意思地

e.g. I grinned sheepishly when I entered the classroom seeing a couple hugging.

2.Everything is a blur.

blur：something that you cannot see clearly 模糊的东西

e.g.If I don’t wear my glasses, everything is a blur.

3.Win/Lose people are prone to use position, power, credentials, possessions or personality to get their way.

Be prone to: likely to do something or suffer from something, especially something bad or harmful,倾向于做某事

e.g. A great many children are prone to junk food.

4.Those words raised a red flag.

red flag: If you refer to something as a red flag, you mean that it acts as a danger signal. 危险信号；预警

e.g. A high fever is your body's own red flag of danger.

5.Instead of a sore spot, it became a source of joy and strength to both father and son.

a sore point/spot/subject :something that makes you upset, angry, or embarrassed when someone mentions it类似于我们所说的“痛处”

e.g. Don’t mention my puppy love; it is kind of a sore spot.

6.Or playing little tin god in your life```

Tin god: someone who behaves as if they are more important or powerful than they really are 自以为了不起的人

e.g. I don’t like the persons who are tin god and look down upon others.

7.If you'd apply yourself like your older sister does, you'd do better and then you'd like school.

Apply yourself:  to work very hard on something for a long time

e.g. In order to get a good mark in your final exam, you need to apply yourself.

8.Empathic listening gets inside another person's frame of reference.

frame of reference: a particular set of beliefs, ideas or experiences that affects how a person understands or judges sth(影响人理解和判断事物的)信仰和准则

e.g. Everyone has his own frame of reference.

9.I really tried to put myself in his shoes.

in sb’s shoes: in someone else’s situation, especially a bad one

e.g. Put yourself in his shoes, you will understand him deeply.

Summary

From habit 4 to habit 5

Habit 4 ----think win/win is to seek mutual benefit and success in all human interactions, which involves five interdependent dimensions of life. It starts with character that is foundation of win/win, and transfers to relationships which is the ideal springboard for tremendous synergy. Then, from relationships flow the agreements that give definition and direction to win/win. At last, it is fostered in an environment where structure and systems are based on win/win. And it includes process. For the sake of fulfilling win/win, win/win training management and win/win performance are necessary. In addition, habit 5 is the key to strengthen and achieve habit 4. Habit 5----seek first to understand, then to be understood means listening others with intent to understand, not reply----empathic listening, and then being understood. Don’t push; be patient; be respectful.

中文感悟

Habit 4 Think win/win，”双赢”，这是一个最佳状态。但我们的生活中出现较多是win/lose, lose/win, lose/lose, win,但这些状态最终的归宿都是lose/lose。所以作为有追求有理想的人来说，win/win是要必备的，这样才会走得更好更远。

比如说我，我最初的状态是lose/win, 不愿意去和别人争，别人抢，我只想安安静静的做个”美女子”。但到头来发现，自己好像越来越渺小，迷失了自己，被当成没有能力，没有自信，很弱的代表。后来我觉得这样子下去是不行的，我开始要win/lose,想要赢，想要得到重视，不要在尘埃里开不出花来。虽然获得了win/lose, 出了一口气，但却局限了自己的成长。所以从win/lose向win/win过渡，达到双赢，才能赢得出彩。

Habit5 Seek first to understand, then to be understood, 最重要一点是empathic listening, 带着理解的目的去理解他人，而不是从别人的话中找到回答的机会，要认真的听，而不是认真的从自己角度出发给出建议。

我们总是喜欢以"我是为你好"的态度去沟通，实质上是这只是自己的"一面之词"，是根据自己的情况而言，根本就没有理解到对方的真实需求与感受，没有站在对方的角度来看待问题，去切身体会，最后是你在"苦口婆心"，但根本打不动不了别人的心。就如我有一个很要好的朋友，我总是劝他多阅读，不要老是一有时间就玩游戏。以"为他好"的理由，不断的跟他说，多阅读可以自我提升，但最后发现根本就没有用处，他就是左耳进，右耳出。现在我明白，我是以自身的角度去站在他的处境上，我认为阅读不可或缺，所以多阅读总是有好处的。但我并没理解他，没有明白他不喜欢阅读，所以再怎么努力也是徒劳一场。

要先有共鸣的理解，才能处理好一切的事情。